Stay Green Always

Death of this blog...

2006-05-12T16:20:00.000+08:00

This blog has moved to:

www.joannielivingfuneral.blogspot.com

In need of a plain appearance...simplicity.

Come celebrate my funeral when i'm still alive! :)

Freedom.

2006-05-01T00:01:00.000+08:00

Recently came across an interesting blog on gay couple, read their progress of their relationship and saw the comments given by public. Saw the courage from them to ackowledge each other over the internet and do what they do in public, especially in this society where a standard already exist on what we should do and behave. there were nasty comments putting the gay couple down. well, being gay or straight ultimately is really a choice. a way of lifestyle. what right does one has to condemn how one should live a life that they choose? just becos' you adhere to the society's standard? Consider the beliefs that we all have are being build on what the society shapes us to be and also the life situation we're in. What is right and wrong? this line has already been blurred. is based on individuals' belief system. And where did that come from again? Try testing your belief. And guess what, it just gets stronger!

While looking through the entries, (yes i browsed through all) i'm amused by it. and seem like the author's entries revolve around his partner only. it pretty much scare me. how dangerous it can be when the partner ever leaves him? The author's world might just collapse. Imagine telling everyone what they've done, ma chiam like story-telling on their daily activities. it pretty much bore me. yes and i still managed to read finish. searching for something i guess. their relationship is no different from a girl and boy one, just that their rule of game is they are from the same sex lo. Pretty much a common sight to see how people attach to what they 'own', for instance their partners. well, thought pretty boring if your world just revolve around your partner and neglect other stuff. At times, pamper self with just the two of you kind of world. previous two sentences are for myself. hehe. i just felt that there are so many things i wanna do, i'm pretty much being shared by what i deem as important to me liao. yes i need space. dont ever attempt to tie me down. freedom-lover here. hihi. this is freedom speaking.:p yup..will do what it takes to have the best of all the worlds i want. yeap..greedy girl!lalala. really depends on how i manage it. oh yeah..one good thing about my relationship with eric for now, i could feel freedom. Well is like having two ships that sailed from the harbour to explore the horizons out there and return to harbour when is time to reunite and rest. nice. :)

oh yeah, recently gotten a friend back. Chuanwei, glad to have you back in my life once again. Really enjoy the times we share, much better than before. thanks for letting me know what you felt and allowing me to be part of your life. just very touched. *gam dong! Way to go buddy! :)

Insights.

2006-04-27T11:28:00.000+08:00

Been quite sometime since I last blogged, have been pretty busy with work and training. By the time I reached home, I almost could knock out anytime. Love to sleep after a tiring day to recharge my body. Enjoy squeezing out the last bit of energy left in me to realize that I have spent my day well and fulfilling. I usually have a great morning to begin with. Hehe. 

Had a few realizations while at work recently.

It came clearer to me that is important to choose leaders to lead the organization or team properly. 1) Competency. 2) Ability to mentor others such that you impart the knowledge to others. Even when you left the company, you left a team behind which they can sustain and better themselves in time to come. It pretty much amazed me how people get to the position they are at now. Well, probably they do have their hidden talents which didn’t display out explicitly. Alright, the people might not be as incompetent as what one perceive to be, probably is a choice that they choose not to know several stuff which enable them to learn that confused mode is one way to get them by. If they are confused people, they gotta be consistent in other areas of their lives too. A matter of choice isn’t it? I guess it ultimately depends on what you want in life to do what you do.

People have been sharing their experiences with me about what to do and not to do. To be careful in this dog-eat-dog world. How people climbed their way up by stepping on others…listened to gossips during lunch. Good to hear, but never will I participate in such conversations. You know, after you know what you want, is a question of how you gonna do it? Do you wanna step on other to climb up the corporate ladder? Do you wanna depend on your potential and ability to achieve what you want. I guess at the end of the day, It gotta be aligned with your value system of how you want to live your life. Clear conscience. Listen to your heart.

A lesson from a Run.

2006-04-09T19:08:00.000+08:00

begin with a destination in mind.
as you finally started running,
you reached the crossroads,
you are opened to more options.
which path to choose?
you waited. pondered.
considered what kind of consequence you might get if you chose that path.
the fact is ...
is not check with reality so to speak.
you wondered if you are ready for the path ahead of you.
some might choose to stay put and wait longer.
while some might take the path ahead and just MOVE it!

i came to realise this,
it doesnt matter which path you took at the end of the day.
every path that you chose to take on,
serves a purpose.
A purpose which allow you to learn what it takes to reach your destination.
probably at times,
we do not have the clarity to see beyond what our eyes can see.
But the thing is,
you gonna be in it to experience what is it like.
Then you make a choice to continue the journey or to change route.

Life is full of choices.
just gotta make sure what kind of consequence you want.
Then choose...before that choice is taken away from you.

Then i pondered,
it doesnt matter which path i choose to take
cos ultimately is going towards what i want in my life.
make whole lot of sense what Mei told me in my conversation with her.
My buddies (andrewson, John) and a new friend (Eliza) were exposed to such conversation.
amazing night.
andrewson saw that possibility.
seized the opportunity.
the path which a few of us took and i never regret the choice i made since then.
excited for him.
gonna be a roller coaster ride..where it would expedite his growth.

Life is indeed too exciting to be bored! *hehe*:p

Often heard people saying how life sucks...
my question back to them would often be,
"wooh! how did that happened???"
depends on how you wanna interpret this..suan or what?!
is not meant to be that.
"who has made that happened for them?"
just amused by how pple made their choice.
But after all,
freedom of choice and that's their lives at the end of the day.

alrighty, that's that!:)

In Appreciation.

2006-04-04T08:48:00.001+08:00

A little story by Paulo Coelho

A certain shopkeeper sent his son to learn about the secret of happiness from the wisest man in the world. The lad wandered through the desert for forty days, and finally came upon a beautiful castle, high atop a mountain. It was there that the wise man lived.

Rather than finding a saintly man, though, our hero, on entering the main room of the castle, saw a hive of activity: tradesman came and went, people were conversing in the corners, a small orchestra was playing soft music, and there was a table covered with platters of the most delicious food in that part of the world. The wise man conversed with every one, and the boy had to wait for two hours before it was his turn to be given the man's attention.

The wise man listened attentively to the boy's explanation of why he had come, but told him that he didn't have time just then to explain the secret of happiness. He suggested that the boy look around the palace and return in two hours. "Meanwhile I want to ask you to do something", said the wise man, handing the boy a teaspoon that held two drops of oil. "As you wander around, carry this spoon with you without allowing the oil to spill."

The boy began climbing and descending the many stairways of the palace, keeping his eyes fixed on the spoon. After two hours, he returned to the room where the wise man was.

"Well" asked the wise man, "did you see the Persian tapestries that are hanging in my dinning hall? Did you see the garden that took the master gardener ten years to create? Did you notice the beautiful parchments in my library?"

"The boy was embarrassed and confessed that he had observed nothing. His only concern was not to spill the oil that the old man had entrusted to him.

"Then go back and observe the marvels of my world", said the wise man. "You cannot trust a man if you don't know his house."

Relieved, the boy picked up his spoon and returned to his exploration of the palace, this time observing all the works of art on the ceilings and the walls. He saw the gardens, the mountains all around him, the beauty of the flowers, and the taste with which everything had been selected. Upon returning to the wise man, he related in detail everything he had seen.

"But where are the drops of oil I entrusted to you?" asked the wise man.

Looking down at the spoon he held, the boy saw that the oil was gone. "Well there is only one piece of advice I can give you", said the wisest of wise men. "The secret of happiness is to see all the marvels of the world, and never to forget the drops of oil on the spoon."

A excerpt from "The Alchemist".

There are times when we go on search for what we think we want in life..pursue the kind of success. How often during that pursuit, we tend to miss out what we already have in our hands. When you realised it, if you're lucky you still can learn to redeem yourself and appreciate the very presence of it. If not, it just slipped you by and probably left you in a state of regret. Sometimes people tend to realise its importance until you lose it.

What would be of an importance in your life?

Cherish.
Appreciate what you already have and expand on you have.

2006-03-29T09:40:00.000+08:00

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to obedience and warmth.

joan says--> maybe

In love, you feel the most alive when your partner is patient and never willing to give up on you.
joan says--> maybe

You'd like to your lover to think you are optimistic and happy.
joan says--> true. and i am lo. hehe.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic.
joan says--> in the first place wont fall for such type, totally doesnt attract me, unless got stamp on my eyes.haha.

Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with.
joan says--> dame true!!!heard e calling...haha

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.
joan says--> true.

You think of marriage pessimistically. You don't think happy marriages exist anymore.
joan says--> maybe. but still up to individuals to set their marriage in the direction they want.

In this moment, you think of love as something you don't need. You just feel like flirting around and playing right now.

joan says--> Not true.

Interesting..certain element of truth. Take it with a pinch of salt. fight for the love you want. intent for it to happen. you'll be surprised you get it eventually. just a matter of time. i got it. :)

The URL: http://www.blogthings.com/keystoyourheartquiz/

寻找...

2006-03-24T09:22:00.000+08:00

你在寻找吗?

你知道你在寻找什么吗?

你还在坚持还是早已放弃了?

不知道?

一直都在。

人往往看不到，

就算把它放在眼前，

也有可能看不到。

或许早已知道自己想要看和听到什么了。

尝试走出自己。

或许能获得新的领悟。

加油吧，朋友。

孤独也是一种享受

2006-03-21T15:51:00.000+08:00

How does it feel to walk alone along the streets?
How does it feel to eat alone?
Even when you're with someone,
what's the quality of your conversation?
How present are you to listen to what one has to say?

Managed to do the above and helps to slow down
the rythem of my life.
looking at how things flashes before me.
slowing down its flashes.
looking at the food before me,
prolonging the enjoyment of how it taste.

孤独也是一种享受。
独自穿梭在人群当中。
独自享用一餐。
顿时间，
我的世界的步伐缓慢下来。
我看到了。
一切都清楚了。

有时，
人往往喜欢跟着社会的步伐，
或则盲目的追逐梦想，
但总到了某个阶段，
事情不如意时，
才察觉到他忽略某样东西。
也许太晚了，
他已经失去了。

人常说，
失去后才知道什么是珍惜。
后来的珍惜，
只不过是补偿以往的过失。
不是吗?
而以往的过失，
也成了自己的心结。
惟有给自己机会去打开心结，
才能获得释放。
从自己的心牢给释放出来。
可惜，
人往往办不到。
因缺乏勇气。

人生的旅途中，
我们都得作出选择。
人看到了吗?
还是他们早已经被自己的限制了，
已经断绝了其他可能性。

突然间对人生的感触，
让我回想起中学时的随笔。
有些怀念。
觉得亲切。

winning self before anythg else matters.

2006-03-20T20:36:00.000+08:00

-MR500 2006 March-

i was broken.
limits of self were broken.
opens up another level of perspective.
i was not alone.
cos i have my team fighting with me.
looking back at where we began together.
from scratch.
they have improved a great deal.
no more caterpillars.
people finally got it.
what it takes to row as a whole.
what it takes to execute the stroke each time.
what it feels like to be in the experience of a team.
what is fighting spirit all about.

i heard people shouting,
i heard people pulling stroke by stroke together,
i heard encouragement.
i felt support.
i felt unity.
i felt team work.
i felt the closeness and togetherness.
The girls are fabulous!
finally got the feeling...yeah!
Now we can do even moreeeee.....cant wait!
Nice.

We have put on a hard fight with other institutions.
satisfied with how we progressed but
i just wanna ask for more.
cos we are capable of more.
Come June...we'll be back even stronger. :)

The greatest competitor in your life is YOU!

Despite the fact we're new, i just wanna bring back SMU medals soon!
gonna stunnnn the dragonboat scene with our presence.

Bringing you to Joannie's babies...

2006-03-12T22:44:00.000+08:00

They will be accompanying me for my dragonboat trainings and competitions. My luminous butt pad to protect my butt from the abrasion. but kinda neglected him for the previous training. in the end, i kenna abrasion on my butt. now sit also very uncomfortable. cos pretty pain. gee.

yeap..my paddle! very pretty one! :) Unfortunately this does not belong to me, temporarily is mine.hehe. but well, shall cherish the quality time i will spend with him during my stay in dragonboat team. Gonna bring him down for his very first race and my second race in smu. excitement! as compared to the past where my team began from scratch, now we have something to stun the dragonboat scene with our presence. It takes awhile for us to reach the standard from other institutions..is just the beginning. and we are improving fast. glad to see many people's strokes improved tremendously. now they get their stroke pretty much right, it will be a mental competition on the race itself. How steady..how focus you are during the races. the level of concentration, the level of your consciouness will affect the level of your performance. Stay with the team to row the race we begin together. Add value to the team with your presence. coming soon...:)

joannie's number:

joannie's paddle:

Break it!

2006-03-11T20:47:00.000+08:00

today's training was supeRRrBBb! it was very fulfilling! people were fighting hard for every stroke that they row.i'm so delighted to see the girls fight for our boat man! no matter how tired we are, the refusal to die on each other. the extra effort to do what we needa do. staying present really helps. being conscious about how you move your body, especially when it is so tempting to listen to the devil mind who whispered the word 'tiredness' to you. at times i got into that trap but the thought of my team mates to pull my weight instead, actually push me on further. to see them moving their bodies actually inspire me to move mine too. we're in this together! Gee..the girls improved a lot...most importantly is i sw the fighting spirit in them which very much inspire me. :) Nice. Way to go man. Create the kind of feeling and create the kind of environment to support each other especially during our race next week. u got the feeling already! just make it happen again. don;t give yourself up cos i'm not gonna give u up! this is getting exciting! gonna see how this upcoming race gonna stretch us further as a team. :)

it has reach the point where you cant feel what is tiredness anymore and you just keep on rowing till you reach your destination. the body is on auto mode. the mind is reminding what the body is suppose to do. i feel great about it! breaking the body limitation..breaking the mind perception of self on how much you can take the journey. and one thing important is, you have a team with you, rowing with you till you reach your destination. Nice.

My new love has arrived today. gonna accompany for a period of time. :)Stay tuned!

pictures from my party!

2006-03-04T21:40:00.000+08:00

Hey all,

Thanks for witnessing my transition into my adulthood officially. People asked me what do i want for bday present, i said.."well wrap a guy up and give to me as present la?!" I guessed that wish actually came true after a week. So much of an intention! haha. oh yeah! Thankful for that to happen..however, i guess is at the expense of another friendship. UBF, hope there's still this possibility of continuing our friendship when you are ready. i'll be here always waiting. :)

how has things changed? even happier with his presence in my life now. this gift is really a bonus which came along the way. very exciting journey ahead with the additional of him to join me in my game!

Here comes the pictures.....

Team SMU: A family in SMU. Tho' we are young in the dragonboat area, we'll make a name for ourselves in time to come! Together, we ride the waves!
One Stroke, One Heart, One TEAM! *wHoooSsh*

Classmates from BSM China class! Best class at the moment!:)

My friends from SMU_SIS, thanks for helping me in the world of java and php.
fun people to hang out with and getting to know.

NYJC team! A bunch of people whom we shared our joy and sorrow together!
Fighters!:)

My secondary sch clique- tingjun and gerladine.

My primary-secondary school friends. *PLMGSS

Childhood friend Jose,John and Andrewson my new clique of friends...cum ktv kakis!

My extended family.
Thanks for helping to bbq-ying. going out to sis, bro, uncle patrick, uncle wee moon, kwang yong biao ge!
well, i guess it became my mum's birthday rather than mine!
gee...stole my limelight siaa..
hehe. But she has all the credits of giving birth to me on that day!
Mummy is the best!:)

My family! Love them very much!!!:)

keep in touch!

2006-02-27T13:50:00.000+08:00

my social life still continues.
his presence in my life doesnt make me gonna give up
spending time with others.
we all need space to grow.
freedom.
truth.
i'm speaking for myself. hehe.
begin to see changes in myself already.
amazing.

sadly,
when one get married or probably attached,
his or her social circle tends to shrink.
all the focus will only be in the family the couple set up.
where's the balance?
is just a trend i saw in my world.
shai,weilin, yulin and i were chatting..
would very much want to maintain our friendship even when we get married one day.
we still wanna hang out as much as much as possible.
it would be a pity to drift from them (includes huixian too!)hehe

being with someone, a friend, whom you build a friendship with.
that's nice.

embarking on a journey full of excitement and growth

2006-02-24T20:01:00.000+08:00

the long wait was worthwhile.
at least i know the existence.
a blessing to have him to join me on this journey.
all the while he's there,
yet i have not realised.
maybe i did.
but i was too 'blind' to see.
in experience of a different type of love is amazing.
nice.
right now, we are growing ourselves on our side of the world.
when time comes, we'll come together.
simply loving every moment in his presence.
seeing little changes on myself which amazes me.
cool.
how powerful is that.
great.

the result of the internship for china will be out in this 2 weeks.
in the midst of my internship interview for india,
let's just see how it opens up.
spend all the time waiting...
the result will be out tonight.
that's fast man.
it was an interesting discussion for round 1,
enhanced my interviewing experience.
interesting.

something come up for me just now,
sometimes we think we know where we wanna go,
but do we?
probably at times we should focus and head that direction.
but who knows the other path might just open up other possibilities
where you never considered before.
if really i'm given the opportunity in india and china,
which will i choose?
really hope i'm given the choice to choose.
at least i have options opened up for me.
for now,
i have made a decision.
it speaks so strongly to me.
but probably i shouldn't conclude so early.
gee..contradiction.
yeah..doing what i best at.heh.

等了又等

2006-02-19T19:32:00.000+08:00

waiting for an outcome.
enjoying the waiting process cos
i know where i'm going ultimately.
Follow my heart.

time shall tell me what i will get at the end of the long wait.
seeing goodness in whatever situation that comes along.
cos ultimately is how you perceived it that really makes a difference.
isn't it?

even if it doesn't happen,
things happen for a reason.
whether you could see what it is trying to tell you,
is another issue.

let's just wait and see.

similarities vs differences

2006-02-16T14:34:00.001+08:00

friendship begins with attraction.
something in the other party cause you to find out more about him or her.
similarities?
saw myself in a friend.
reminds me of me.
is not scary cos i pretty much love myself.
haha:)
yup..and love begins with self, before you love others.
true.
differences?
somehow got drawn to them too.
i guess prob seeing it as an exposure to these differences.
new experience. new apreciation i guess.
but when u look at it as a whole=similarities + differences,
you'll get to see the whole picture.
i doubt u have any idea what i'm talking about.
is not meant to be understood anyway.
just something that cause me to ponder.

just wanna say my thank you to you!

2006-02-12T19:03:00.000+08:00

a day of celebration has went by like this.
in the presence of everyone, my family and my friends.
it was indeed enjoyable cos of your presence.
all these is made possible cos of the people who helped me
throughout the planning, executing and closing of the party.

Some acknowledgements to people who were there yesterday:

Family:
Thank you for assisting and guiding me through my major project.
your advice, effort and finanical assistance are very much appreciated.
gotta pay back with the rest of my life time, double of what you've given me.
the love you have been showering me, touched my heart deeply.
Would love to be parent-child and sibling with you all in my next life.
you are simply brilliant. too good to be true. n i got u as my family.
i'm truly blessed. love you!

my lovable cousins, thank you for taking care of me like a sister. really glad our kinship has developed into something stronger! :)

NYJC dragonboat team:
Really touched by your initiativeness to be my organizing committee to decorate my chalet and preparation of food. Thanks yulin, weizhong,weilin and guys for decorating the place wth balloons! Thanks sam and huixian for preparing the food! Thanks shai for being my photographer. Thanks guys for setting up fire n blowing those huge balloons! Touched by your sincerity towards me. your sweetness to come up with a guest book for my party. you guys are a great bunch of pals man. what more can i ask for?

to my ladies- Thanks for the trust and respect you'v given me throughout this 4 yrs of friendship. the memories we shared..the tears of sorrow and joy have bonded us closer now. this reunion has made us even more appreciate of each other, knowing that we have each other for the rest of lifetime and making the effort to keep our friendship going no matter what it takes. my life has spiced up since then. Each of you has made me learnt how to be human better. you have soften me..dont know how to put it even more clearly. think u get my idea la huh. :) thanks darlings!

to my guys- thanks for opening up once again. really glad how things are now, having to see us coming together as a team. helping each other along the way. i know when in times of need, you guys will not hesitate to help. kind people indeed.

you all have stood by me through my ups and downs of my life. thanks for the support and encouragement you've given me during my earlier part of my journey.

last cheer,
志者胜利南初!

爱你~~~~~~~

Team SMU:
even though we just started and knew each other for 5 months, thanks for staying on in the team to continue the journey we began in SMU together. even though we are a new team, i truly enjoy your company in smu. this is the place where i feel very comfortable and homely with you around, after one year of slacking in there. we created a culture that we can call our own..we had fun and laughter together. as the training intensity increases, do rely on each other for support and enouragement to go beyond our physical and mental limits. don't give up cos i'm not gonna give you up. :) let's work this through together as a team. together, we ride the waves!

thank you for the card, digital watch and flowers! beautiful flowers!!!nice. will use it during training! haha.

your ever demure secretary who happens to roll her eyes beautifully says,
"Team SMU whOooShhh!"

SIS friends-evil twin name peiling, cant be stopped elaine, shoes snapper clara, A-P freggi veggi yinghui:
thanks for taking care of me especially in the world of programming. had whole load of fun since i gotten to know each of you better and my life in SIS is spiced up cos of each of you. feel pretty
l-o-n-e-l-y there cos hardly find any good friend there. but glad i found you all. Keep the friendship going k:)

evil twin name chucky joan says,
you girls are power man and you rockZz!

BSM China friends:
the bonus out of this enriching trip was the friendships forged and blossomed for some of us along the way. during this short stint of 3 months, gotten closer to a few of you. thanks for sharing your views and your life with me. it is my honour. :) And i didn;t know you guys are such a fun bunch to hang out with until i went on the trip with you all. this is the best class i ever attended with the interactions from most of the classmates. n i have you as my friend now. appreciate that.

亲爱的佩玲说:" 友谊长久!"

Pri-Secondary friends:
woohoo..knew most of you since p1/p4/p5, that is like 14 years of friendship man! wow! glad to see you once again. i guess for some of us, we had been good friend at certain point of our lives and we somehow got drifted apart. most importantly, now we've reunited again. :) thank you for the friendship we built together and the gifts you've given to me. :)

Cousin-in-law andrewson, happy prince john and jose korkor:
john/andrewson- heyhey...though we knew each other recently, glad our friendship has formed and blossomed during this short stint. i like the environment we created for each other..for our growth. support for each other to pursue our dreams and aspirations. fun and laughter to keep us going. our ktv and music cafes. cool man! you have my support all th way k..jiayou jiayou!

jose- how small the world is when we seldom contact liao and we were brought together by andrewson. gee..thanks for bringing joy and laughter during my childhood. :) and through this, also got into contact with your sister. really brought back a lot of memories. and does that remind of how old you guys are? hehe. stay young at heart k! :)

oh yeah..said what i needed to. truly so much to thank for. so much to be grateful of. counting my blessings. fortunate to have true friends around me and watching how each other evolves during this journey of life. will upload the photos sooonnn...

lastly,

Thanks for being my friend, my kin.

Knowing you is one of the greatest gifts i ever gotten!

You have expanded my world. :)

Coming Soon....

2006-02-09T21:57:00.000+08:00

As the days pass, i'm nearing my adulthood.
didnt know i did care so much of it.
thought it is just another birthday.
indeed it is.
up to one to attach the meaning to it.
i did.
seems like a major project of mine,
where almost my entire social circle is there.
would i be tired from interacting with my different cliques of friends?
i would be energised and thrilled to have their presence in my party.
tiredness will come when one has to put on different 'mask' to different groups.
target segmentation as what jingwen said.
you customise yourself to the clique you're in.
i came through that stage and is dame tiring!
i prefer mass marketing, just using a homogenous product and low in cost some more.
put it in my sense, i would see it as presenting myself as who i am to people around me.
it doesnt require much of my 'energy' cos i dont have to put up with the different fronts.
interesting concepts as discussed with jingwen.
even tho u may not b present at the party,
let's have our post celebration just the two of us! *private date!
hehe.
yup..having lots of people asking what i want for my birthday.
thanks.
your presence will be the greatest gift already. :)
no worries.
pretty touched by some how they make the effort to come even tho they have exam the next day. wow..appreciate it man! :)

gonna be hell week from next week onwards. n will be spending my actual bday with my project mates cos of deadlines. anyway i had my share of celebration this weekend, so that's that! :)

stay tuned for the pictures..but think it gonna take awhile. be patient! good stuff is worth waiting man! :p

completion

2006-02-06T11:09:00.000+08:00

saying my little prayer before i went.
looking up the sky where i remember how it feels like to be.
give what i could give.
share what i could share.
best is what i could give.
fun is what i get out of it.
the process is enjoyable.
another learning experience to sharpen my interviewing skills.
all i do now is,
sit back and relax.
if is mine, it will be.
if not, things happen for a reason.
goodness is what it come out of it eventually.
standing in the world of possibilities and opportunites,
is up to one to grab it when you have the clarity to see its presence.
as the saying goes,
when the student is ready, the teacher appears.

life is a journey

2006-02-05T16:52:00.000+08:00

tomorrow is a big for a few of us-me,david,ds.
reaching my 2nd baby step that will lead me to my ultimate goal is finally here soon!
Make it or break it.
break...not that jia lat la.
gonna give the best i could ever give.

David is leaving for his exchange tomorrow night.
His journey is going to begin.
Excited and happy for him that he going out there to expand his horizons.:)
gonna stay tuned for his growth as he blogs and shares with me.
wow!
saying our last words just in case we might not be able to see each other any more.
sounds like either of us is dying like that.
He has the same habit as me when i also get to leave the country.
life is unpredictable.
anything can happen. somethings are beyond one's control.
sometimes people wait too long to say thgs that long should've been said but choose to carry on waiting. never found the courage to do so.
sometimes is too late if it happens that is at the end of your journey, and you'll die with regrets probably.

i just dont wanna face with that situation and i would rather choose to let the people ard me know how i feel towards them. at least before i die, i did do something regarding the thgs i wanna say or to be done. i guess it also serves as a closure for both parties. so that one could move on with their lives should anything happen.

these are serious issue of life which we bound to face at certain poin of our lives. there's this quotation on " to live each day as if is the last". after all, only one life to live in, why not make the full use of it. n squeeze out what life can offer and how you can contribute to it. :)

recently went for a parenting session for work purpose. a bit early..well is good to prepare self for it when i reach that phase huh!haha. oh yeah. i feel that the role of parenting is defintely a commitment and responsibility for another life. how you play a part in shaping a child's life...character..mentality..attitude and perspective. a child looks at the parent as a role model, someone whom the child will imitate from. i see the parent as someone who build the basic foundation of how a child should think, feel and say. that's how my parents taught me with their very own way which i'm grateful for. ability to see the options available and power to choose how you wanna live your life from there onwards.

standing in the world of possibilities

happy new year!

2006-01-30T16:27:00.000+08:00

hey!
just wanna wish you and your family happy and healthy always.
chinese new yr is a family reunion period.
people come and go...
seems like cny brought us back together.
has been tiring lately cos of the visiting from home to home.
compensated by ang baos. hehe.

here i am...
alone resting on my bed, blogging in before i take nap to wonderland.

been waiting and finally it got back to me.
wasnt paricularly happy...neutral about it.
guess the "have is good, dont have is also good" kind of attitude helps.
more eager to share the good news i got.
really want to go for it.
a step closer to my goal.
so near yet so far it seems to be.

been thinking abt the interview.
preparing for it.
spoken to alex and had lots to ponder about.
he's such an amazing person whom has made a difference in my life.
so much to learn from him.
very supportive of my growth.
even now that we seldom meet up, technology helps to keep us in touch.
Having to meet him is one of the greatest gifts i've ever gotten.
my mentor, Thank you. :)

this year, many people have flown off to search for a sky that belongs to them.
testing their boundaries.
getting out of their comfort zone in singapore.
growing themselves.
happy for them -my sisters (Rou and christine),huixian,evette,david.
wow...they serve as a motivation for me to get what i want all this while.
An opportunity arise, seize it before it slips.
Most importantly, do it with intention!
All things will fall into place.
Even if they dont, things happen for a reason.
Just up to one to perceive it.

alrighty...stay tuned.

acceptance.

2006-01-23T12:21:00.000+08:00

a day has passed since his departure.
miss his presence.
sometimes looking at the spot he always parked himself there.

whenever getting out of the room, it becomes a habit to shut the door so that he will not go in and mess thgs up.

when the night comes, looking at those empty bowls of his which he will never use again.

when you come into the house, he will be jumping onto the door.

when i practise my singing, he's my only audience..tho at times he tends to ignore me. hehe.

memories to stay. he being part of my life.
affected but wont say i'm sad.
the pain is not painful.
is more of an acceptance.

apparently this dont make me hold dearly to what i have anymore. dont wanna attach so much meaning to the friendship/kinship i have. acceptance for what they are. like what buddha said, things are impermanent. what for we hold it so dearly..not saying then we dont appreciate its existence. Let it go for the better of both parties i would say.

Move on and prepare for my official entry to Adulthood!oh yea.

oh yah..Thanks to those who showed your concern-junwei,yenny,audy,qingyang,andrewson,fen,rou,teckwee,chuanwei,desheng.
*touched*

Anyway,Mummy said today is my chinese bday! Happy birthday to myself then!

Soon new year is coming. May all of us b healthy and happy always!:)

a tribute to hobbish

2006-01-22T11:19:00.000+08:00

for those who know hobbish,
he has left the world.
end of his suffering and struggle.
felt helpless.

now that he's gone.
gonna adjust my world with his absence physically.
life has taken another important one away from me.
i guess it kinda make me hold on to what i have left even more dearly.
they would not be present to witness my transition to adulthood.
pity.

i would say he's the only dog i love..
accompanying me thru my 14 years of growth..my development as a person.
just like how i watched him become bigger..older each day.
tt's how i developed my feelings for him.
guess when there's some sort of attachment,
when is time to part...
u can't bear.

teared.
did i feel the numbness again?
in a nothingness space.

lessons to learn:
remember how he welcomed my friends with his licking. -learn to be a good host.
remember how he messed up my rubbish bin. -learn to control my temper.
remember how he popped by my room occassionally while i was studying. -learn to care

memories that will be kept with me for the rest of my life.

wHo Is e uLtImAte PoSeR??!!!

2006-01-21T22:28:00.000+08:00

*Mr Z and me...ai mei pic! lol.

*joan deep in her thoughts:
How to grow taller???

* Mr S: kopi? kopi-o? tea?
nice guy who posed professionally!:)

*Natural look siaaa.....

* Des: joan still dont want to return me $$$?!
joan: i dont want to return leh..

nah..we just giving a "zHuAIii" look!

*Si: I'm gonna kill joan right now!
joan: aHhhh.....i bite my tongue first!:p

* 发花痴

*Mr Cool guy

*Cool wannabes....:p

Thanks for posing with/for me!!! It was funnnnn!!! my biz study friends! cool huh! oh yeah!

tired body, active mind.

2006-01-19T00:11:00.000+08:00

just came back from dinnering with dragonboat ppl.
good workout today.
cool.
push it push it...
7 girls turned up. one newbie.
how to get them to find their breaking point?
aggressiveness?
hmm...

oh yeah..i'm known as the demure secretary of the team.
speaking of demure...tt's my new yr resolution of 2006.
why that?
cos never been demure before mah.
lol.
kinda funny cos unknowingly i tend to speak loudly at times when i get excited.
then just now wilson they all were like whispering..."demure..."
then i was like...oh..sorry sorry...
then we repeat the scene again,
of cos i showed my demure-ness!
lol.
but zhui cannot take it..always feel like beating me up! okie..who doesnt?!lol
oh well i do seek pleasure in tt.
but he being a nice guy...of cos he wont la.
Weizhong..another one, he has mastered my rolling eyes talent liao.
gEEe...but i still do better.
okie whatever for am i so yayapapaya about tt?!
lol.

Anyway, was having a conversation with audy.
discussion on other ethnic attraction towards me.
came to realise...prob cos of my physical appearance.
more rounded....hehe.
can give birth to lots of children ah?!
yeah..prob i'll go for 10 kids lo.
just nice next time can train for 12 men boat.
then i be drummer, my hubby be coxswain.
okie kidding la.

anyway, heard nyjc setting up alumni for dragonboat.
thats nice.
possibility of rowing with my own guys.
now the patching up..kinda feel like a compensation of the time loss back in the old days.
prob tt's my loose end which has yet to be completed.
may we row again. :)

Together, we ride the waves.

all by myself...

2006-01-16T14:22:00.000+08:00

just me, myself and i in this visitor centre of smu.
occasionally people pop in to say hi.
feel like a catching up session huh.
yes it does.
familiar faces.
see how people make the extra steps to step into my territory.
flashing smiles and waving...
sometimes work get to us which gave us excuse of no time to meet up.
but really...
if u want your friend to be part of your life,
you'll make time for things to happen.
or prob ppl just plain lazy.
or prob ppl dont have that as an importance.

interesting conversation with shah on relationship.
fear to commit.
fear to what lies ahead.
fear that it doesnt turn out the way you want it to be.
FEAR.
projected fear which is not check by reality.
it may really come true when u believe in it.
belief--->actions--->consequence.
play the game both parties want.
set the rules.
abide them.
be truthful.
communicate.

qingyang popped by. my massage kaki in my BSM trip.
catching up session.
i guess today was the longest conversation i had with him.
pity that the interaction between ppl not much.
i had my fair bit.
probably the post bsm trip had helped me got closer to a few.
nice to see new friendships blossomed in their own ways.
but well, ultimately it takes 2 hands to clap.
all is well.

how easy the game on attraction begins for me.
drawn to sadness.
drawn to mystery.
drawn to smile.
drawn to dept of conversation.
as days pass, saw a new friendship blossoms.
watch how it unfolds right before me.
nice.

What are you attracted to in a guy

2006-01-14T15:54:00.000+08:00

An eyes person

You can see the magic in a persons eyes, you can see their soul, you know what they're really thinking, and know if they mean no even if they say yes all from their eyes. Yet they still hold some mystique, and for that means you can look into someone's eyes for a long time.

personality 95%
An eyes woman 95%
Abs woman 75%
A mouth gall 60%
A chest chick 45%
A butt gall 45%
A crotch person 35%

check it out at: http://quizfarm.com/

get out of it...

2006-01-10T14:29:00.000+08:00

rainy day seems like a everyday kind of thing...
sets me into the mood of thinking...feeling...
keeping myself isolated.
as what enqi always says, let me be in touch of reality!
lol...
prob all this is just an excuse for me not to do any work.
boo!!!!
anyway, going out....out....out....

Finally got in touch.
good to know ..safe n sound.
as usual enjoyed our conversation.
:)

懒洋洋的星期天

2006-01-08T17:30:00.000+08:00

雨还没停息，仿佛不打算停止。
躲在家里。
冷冷清清的房间，只有我孤独的身影。
听着雨水滴答滴答的声音，
听着陈绮贞的音乐，
简简单单的旋律，
吉他的伴奏，
自然的一把声音，
给人一种懒洋洋和舒服的感觉。

rainy day...

2006-01-08T15:04:00.000+08:00

kinda bothered by something..
waiting.
am i expecting something?
maybe i do have the slightest interest.
gee..
but then again, i fall quite easily..selectively of cos.
and it dies off quite quickly when assessment failed.
let's just see how it goes.
ya..i making it mean something when there's nothing for me to play with.
kaoz.
begins with attraction.
what m i attracted to?
aspiration.
plans.
dept of conversation- 2way.
willingness to share.
self perceived problems.
easy for me to get attracted but
eventually i guess it usually just stop at this stage.

第一次

2006-01-07T02:50:00.000+08:00

夜深人静的时候，唯有音乐陪我共度这时刻。
这阵子，突然觉得累了。
赶回家，为的是与周公在梦里相会。
睡觉是我最喜欢的活动。
暂时能够把顾虑或烦恼抛到九霄云外。
可是梦醒后，就必须回到现实的怀抱里。

柔应该到了美国了吧。
与她分开一年。
怀念与她度过的美好时光。
我们无所不谈，一起分享生活的点滴，追逐的梦想。
就如她所说的，人因梦想而伟大。
一年后的今天，我们都要成长。
在那广阔的天空，展翅高飞，寻找属于自己的一片天空。

今天，我心血来潮想尝试以华文来输入我的感想。
没尝试的东西，必须试一试。
也许你会喜欢。
有时，人就少了一种推动力吧。
安于现状。
如果事情无须改变，那又何必呢
可是人有时就喜欢躲在那舒适的角落，动也不动。
没有错。
只是断送了其他可能性。

最近，新友与老友都约了我。
兴奋是因为看到一段新的友谊的出现。
我们有好多话题谈论，分享彼此的人生规划，向彼此倾诉。
开始了解彼此。就让我们互相扶持彼此的成长吧。
与老友相见，是一种维持友谊的其中做法。
至少没把我这个朋友给忘了。
在各自的世界里，想到彼此就好了。

决定要庆祝生日，朋友都纷纷伸出援手，看我须要哪些帮助。
哇!
有心就好。

就此停笔。。。

down down....

2006-01-05T13:36:00.000+08:00

moment of feeling down...
how come...
taking up too much commitments?
is just the beginning...
how m i going to sustain?
dont enjoy such feeling at all.
silence.
unspoken.
isolation.

get out of it..boo!

happy new year!

2006-01-02T04:17:00.000+08:00

started the year of with a long walk to the tree top. it was such a long journey..with my family. glad the company helped..took a number of pics. realised my bro is also quite a poser. lol. 4 hours of walk and talk. power! woohoo..now my muscles are aching like nobody's biz. great day to start with! discussed with my sis abt my party, it sounded fun cos it will every one of us in our family gonna bring along our friends along. family + friends interaction. oh yeah...no shy no shy. let's have fun! yeap looking forward to it man!

had an interesting conversation with desheng which got me jot down my plans in time to come. got a realisation..some ppl are inspired to do the things they want to do -internal kind of force. but some are just motivated by the influence given by others -external force. both forces generate actions to create the results you want. for tt to happen, prob gotta search for what u want in ur life..how u wanna live your life?

try saying i dunno. cos is such a convenient way of avoiding. sadly, if one dont take charge of the life one wants to lead, then who? live in the opinion of others and let them decide...hear what the society has to say?! well is like rowing a canoe in the ocean, is either you let the current bring you to where it wants to go or go towards the direction you decide where you want to go? soemtimes we do follow the flow if it reaches our purpose at the end of the day. guess this is where we gotta play it smart.

sayin i dunno is like standing at the cross roads, dunno which direction to head. frankly speaking i also unsure abt the direction. is still vague. at the same time still looking for other possibilities. tt's better than staying in the spot..not moving at all. perhaps when reach there, then you can decide for yourself if that's the place for you to be. life is full of possibilities, depending on how determined you are to explore tt possibility.

after all, we only have one to live. sound so duhhh..but hey..sometimes ppl do live their lives as if there's always a tomorrow to come by. taking ppl/thgs for granted..but what if tomorrow never comes? will tt change the whole course of actions?!

defintely. it simply take what is only important in one's life and live that.

What's important for me?
1) Growth - mental development. expanding my world..broaden my perspective.
2) Kinship
3) Friendship - people whom i want them to b part of my life.
4) Love - Love towards how i put in to drive kinship and friendship.
5) Health - responsible to take care of own health, if not how to live the life you want?!

finally getting tired..nitez.

what an eventful day...

2005-12-31T13:06:00.000+08:00

Cheong for interview yesterday from 8am till 1pm. not exactly one but a handover kind of thg. then head to andrew place for lunch with niki. we alighted at the wrong bus stop..then on our way there. saw a pedestrain lying on the ground. he was knocked down by a bus. there he was...lying on the ground... niki n i went up to see if we could b of any help. his head was bleeding..he was in daze. my teochew came in handy when communicating with him. kept him awake by talking to him...not much of a response. guessed the impact on his head was pretty hard. he was very nervous..tensed up. kept wanting to move abt..but we all scared he hurt his back or what so kept him down on the ground.

i held his hand. he hold it pretty tightly. guessed that served as an giving assurance that he's in safe hands. even tho we are not experts in first aid..but well luckily i attended a crash course on first aid and niki also had a course on tt. so agar agar..we knew what to do. quite an experience. we both concluded tt perhaps alighting at the wrong stop was meant to be? if not we wont even encounter such incident.

went over to andrew place for lunch..happy for both of them. in support of each other's growth. it doesnt matter how fast or short a couple get into relationship..it depends on how mature both parties are when they decide to get into a relationship. involving each other in their world..communication matters a lot in a relationship. no assumption..no expectations? prob when there are expectations, they need to be said out. or else that lead to unnecessary disappointments.

sometimes when u walk in the streets, if we just look in terms of appearance..interestingly how come couples come together. we have the extreme ends of the 1) both pretty people and 2) both not pretty people. or we can have 3) pretty one + not pretty one. also...1) both tall ppl, 2) both not tall ppl, 3) tall one + not tall one. theory of relativity?...

been going out lately..is time i need time to b alone.

btw, Happy new year.

what colour m i???

2005-12-28T21:02:00.000+08:00

What's Your True Color?http://web.tickle.com/invite?test=1108&type=t

Green
You're green, the color of growth and vigor. Good-hearted and giving, you have a knack for finding and bringing out the best in people. Green is the most down-to-earth color in the spectrum — reliable and trustworthy. People know they can count on you to be around in times of need, since your concern for people is genuine and sincere. You take pride in being a good friend. For you, success is measured in terms of personal achievement and growth, not by status or position. Rare as emeralds, greens are wonderful, natural people. It truly is your color!

................................................

sound pretty accurate. very much link well to my blog name. staying green always. Growth!

*pinch of salt. yeah

what a blog...

2005-12-28T11:42:00.000+08:00

exhausted for the past few days.
i am finally recharged.
previous night..stayed out till 3am.
woke up at 9am officially.
majong at 10plus.
lost $7 to buddy teckwee.
ended at 6pm.
went out to meet secondary sch clique.
by the time when i'm with them..pretty tired.
or rather e conversation was on surface...updates.
as i listened to one of them,
she got into and out of relationship machiam changing clothes.
just amazed me actually or rather do ppl know what they are in for?
companionship?
passionate kind of love?
cos of loneliness?

got arrowed back with questions like...
got boyfriend?
nope. still single and available.
not interested in boys.
prefer man. lol.
oh yea..
how m i gonna celebrate my 21st bday?
prob i'm one of the first few to kenna so got quite a lot of ppl were asking me!
omg...
most likely a chalet....ur better come ah! *subject to changes.
family gathering plus cliques in my life. even tho might not know each other..but if u know me long enough,
i usually mixed my different cliques of frds tog...

haven met them for one yr.
just reaffirms me on my perception of group outing.
gee...
seriously prefer individual meetings.

but anyway, i simply love CHOCOLATE BANANA! from secret recipe! delicious.
but is better to share it...cos can share calories. hehe. also it get kinda sick towards the end. cos can b pretty filling.

As i read through the top part of my blog, i'm like telling u my activities tt i 've done man. BORING!

let's go to my fav topic...DRagonboat.

term is gonna start again..haven been seeing the whole team for a long time.
come to think of it, i'm pretty easy on the girls. gEe...what m i looking for in them?
COMMITMENT ...to the team and self!
Quality vs quantity.
They've tasted what was it like to be in a competition.
wHere they stand now..we all knew.
wHere we ought to be..there's still quite a distance to go.
calling out to commited souls..people who would want to continue to fight with me..no matter what it takes.
we gonna make it possible.
a baby step is still a step.
Willingness from them..tt's what i need to begin with.
again, it takes 2 hands to clap.
Bring the horse to the water, but you can nv force it to drink.
unless it sees the value for itself.
for ppl who dont want to commit, then i shant persuade them to stay on in the team.
quality.

nice.

2005-12-27T09:37:00.000+08:00

yesterday night, rou/andrewson/fen and my family were having dinner together. it was fantastic. talking and laughing over dinner. mum was horrified by our laughter. just a bit louder and less feminine tt's about all. lol. oh yeah talking abt new yr resolution...i aim to be more demure next year..with a softer laughter. yes i got feedback tt my laughter was a bit too loud. prob will try a different way of laughing then. lol. yup..it will be the last few gathering before rou leaves for US. as usual rou was suaned left right up down by my bro...was hiliarious. but nice to see family gathering like this. it pretty much warms my heart.

went for supper after tt. pretty unexpected of him to talk quite a lot. so much of a man of few words. lol. funny i would say. pretty small world ..got quite a number of common friends. enjoyed my conversation...unknowingly chat till pretty late. guessed it was the latest i got home after such a long time. interesting about human being is that about the discovery of another person- thoughts, actions... besides finding out abt self. yup i've always enjoy conversation which manage to calls out my deeper thoughts. hehe. also having a two person conversation. u can give full attention to another person..staying present to listen what one has to share.

coming to this point of my life, i think the greatest teacher i have is life itself. so much to offer..so much to learn from. it is the past that mould u the way i m now. n my desire to become who i want to be...that makes me the way i m now. i suppose when u have an idea of who u r, tt's when u can identify what u want out of life. planning out ur actions to get where u want to go. even in times of doubt, keep finding out and explore the possibilities. yup..might b a detour or what. how u know u r there is when u get there. soemtimes prob when u get there, that might not b the place you want to b. choice needs to b made. btu that takes courage to decide. whether u have the courage to face the consequences after the choice is made. most importantly no regrets for the choice u made. come to think of it, no matter you like it or not, we all still get to die in the end. before we die, how would u want to live your life? as read from tuesday with morries, it has a quote which i found pretty meaningful.

when u are dead, that's when u start living.

when one comes into contact with death, that when the whole perspective transformed. you simply take what is important in your life and live it after tt. appreciation the beauty of things and ppl ard you better...

untitled

2005-12-26T18:26:00.000+08:00

finally went for my jogging session.
procrastination.
finally get moving.
been thinking.
after so long of separation,
we had finally came together on the eve of xmas.
all came.
it was out of my expectation.
with no expectation from them,
everything was great.
interacted with them.
caught up with them over bbq.
took pics.
played games.
drank.
Fun.
something has changed.
was wondering prob them?
in the way they relate with us.
but realised probably i'm the one who have changed.
no longer the person i used to be.
yes. that was me.
that's when i get a different kind of result with them.
could it be too late?
is better to be late than never.
things begin to pick up.
gonna invite them into my world ..which i have been spending my time with the girls.
they seemed more open now.
again, it takes 2 hands to clap.
if the other side makes no effort in maintaining the friendship,
the person who persist might just let go.
2 years of training together as a team.
come to think of it,
we were really segregated.
we all knew that.
effort was made.
gee.get out of that past!
Live in the present.
it is the present that creates a possible future to exist.

as i was walking back, ever since the beginning of term in smu..until recently when i came back from china,
i realised i have been rushing here and there. spending time with ppl i haven caught up with for very long time.
hey..how abt myself? minimum i must say.
why so...is loneliness getting to me? i wonder.

had a conversation of ppl interacting with a mask or rather different types of mask. so much so for a protection..or rather playing by the rules of the game. how much can one let self show the real you in this world? or rather how much can one face the real you in reality? knowing the truth...knowing the asnwer...how much can one take the truth.

i am back!!!

2005-12-21T23:39:00.000+08:00

Hey everyone,
sorry for the long wait if you happen to read my blog constantly. hehe. well it been pretty much a rush thru'out the trip and even after that. u see..i just finished my last presentation of the year today. had my last lesson of the yr! it was a very enjoyable one, nice to see all these people again. watched the long awaited videos and photos..wow..the short stint has brought back quite a bit of memories i must say. having my partner as the video woman, i was in most of her coverage. good exposure. pretty entertaining..looking at myself in the screen. so this was how i behaved...lol.interesting.

this trip was indeed very rewarding...it has once again faciliatated my growth. my world has expanded thru the thgs i've seen..ppl i met..immersing myself in china's culture..corporate culture. simply awesome. had loads of fun thru'out the trip with the many scandals that i had with my 'hubby'_zack and 'concubine'_aloy. and i shared zack with jiayeow. lol. check out our family pic!

starting from left: aloy,jiayeow,zack,joan

oh yeah..not forgetting my group who sticked with me thru'out the trip and pia-ed our last report & presentation together!

Starting from clockwise: Joan,shaofen,jiayeow,laimeng,clavance

yeah..i got ppl to pose with me! ultimate posers!

Desmond and me! super disturbing!lol. kept molesting my fats with tse tian. horrible! but nice guy and sweet ppl la!

*my sha da jie_sisi. super cute n nice girl..plus funny la.

*jiayeow,michelle,shaofen and me! Thanks michelle for hosting us! had my dim sum..brilliant. mango pudding excellent!

* Desheng, joan and shawn. tryin hard to act cool!
Managed to get to know these two guys slightly better amongst others. Desheng..lazy boy who dont smile. shawn our beloved uncle! lol. enjoyed my war of words with them....ultimate suaners. fun!

this trip has expanded my database of friends in smu..and didn't know they are such a fun and helpful bunch. cool! gotta go out and find those ppl...hope this newly formed friendship dont stop here but is a beginning to wonderful friendship that awaits us, which i cherish.

now that we are beginning to reach the end of our trip, looking back,..this yr is indeed fruitful!

finally my time is free up..time to meet old pals and catch up with my smu dragonboat team. oh yea. going clarke quay for dinner n pubbing n keith place. miss them man. been such a long time since i seen them, tho i saw keith, zhui and adrain for supper the other night. fun tryin out new stuff..gonna practise my drinking which i learnt in china. hehe. cool!

alrighty..till then..

Peiling

what a beginning...

2005-12-09T22:12:00.000+08:00

2 people liking the same person..sounds so dramamama man. that epersoid has hardly began but ended quickily. cos of a choice made. no hatred..no anger. what for in the first place? is fate that brought the 3 together..is a beginning and it will last. cos of a choice made. Move on.

currently at china_zhuhai now. weather been cold lately..wind blow..goshh..it gets into ur bone man. now is warmer so much better. having good food everyday..tried the local dishes of various cities...amongst those, shunde/zhongshan..best at the moment. shunde known for its fried milk dish..and shuang pi nai(desert). zhongshan zhu chang fen is nice...yummy. been eating those food lately man. superb. early morning wake up for breakfast..journey starts from 9am to 8pm..in between has networking meals and company visits and cultural tour. learn a lot during this trip..amused..amazed. wow. really eye opener man. share with u guys one of these days when i'm back from singapore.

dame tiring man..ma chiam like gan tong gao you mei you. but very fun learning experience! better than learning from classroom. at least u get to see, learn n hear from people ..places..COOL!!!

cheers.

yeppy...off to HK!

2005-12-03T17:47:00.000+08:00

woohoo..90% to finish packing my stuff. Had a late night..spent it with weilin,dino,shai,rou,john n andrew. it was an enjoyable night..with all the singing and applause at hark music cafe. cool! as usual, john/andrew went on stage to perform for us..nice nice. in the end..due to popular demand, weilin also went up to play a song and sang a song. awesome! very proud of her man! her stage presence is superb..she really know how to sing! :) hope to see her perform more often..:) glad the outing was great even tho this two groups of people just gotte to know each other. rou did her thg by connecting with dino they all...she really know how to gel ppl man! hehe. good good. thru the sharing session, it reaffirms me that this group of people are those whom they will be for life type one. people in support of each other's growth..in becoming bigger than who they are. No matter what you do, as long u put ur heart into it..rest assured u'll get support from me. :) get ready to FLY! and it will be great if ur frds and u can fly together...:) nice.

i love getting my frds from different cliques to know each other. is a habit of mine..the more the merrier. if there's chance, prob i'll get all my different cliques of frds to meet up and interact with each other. oh yea..prob for my bday?! haha. still haven decide what to do for that as of yet.

yup..spent my past dec hols in china..now another time. but to differnt part of china. apparently they fall under the same region_pearl river delta. china is so big..slowly explore..:) alrighty...

see you when i come back..meanwhile do take care! back on 16 dec night!

cheers.

photos from river regatta

2005-12-01T15:20:00.000+08:00

Team SMU

Girls' team...newly recruited boon kiat. welcome to our sister gang.

Girls...:)

completion

2005-11-27T13:11:00.000+08:00

let me complete what has happened yesterday which was pretty happening!woohoo...

to begin with, shah gave me a bottle of 'sunflower seeds'= chocolates. thanks man. tryin to compensate for the poster he did...dame funny la. fattening tho. thanks nevertheless.
yup..races finally came. didn;t lose that badly. but gained several stuff..team bonding, fighting spirit. intangibles. prizes are a bonus. we'll be back for next year.

it was pretty crazy to have 2 races concurrently and being scolded by the starter. learnt something out of that too..gotta build on my team stamina and stuff so that we can recover fast and start anytime. boo! as i was rowing my woman's race, there's this irritating hook in the water and i kept knocking onto it. bloody hell! another lesson...drummer has to pick up the bloody thgy n hook it to the drum! but glad to see the girls fighting along...see their effort. Great. Now we know where we stand, hope it calls them to start gearing up for next race if they want to continue to compete. for me, i gotta start shedding some weight...yes discipline! few ppl to acknowledge...like our drummers_teck wee and siling. in times of 'losing' ourselves to our physical limitation, their voices served as pillar of strength..reminding you to do the thg u needa do. not forgetting our coxswains_bert and bk. defintely needs courage to take up the challenge of steering the direction despite the resistance faced. give it up to them man! last but not least the rowers! everyone is indispensable truly.

definitely my team is not ready to join this competition if you wanna talk about winning something. well btu when will u know u ever gonna be ready when u havent give it a shot? to know where you stand at the very current moment. how much more you need to reach the standard so as to compete with others? but then again the greatest opponent is self.

Good exposure.

All the way team smu! :)

met familiar faces like laoshi..yosep..weilin and dino!!! weilin n dino were my team mates back in jc ultimate fighters! power rowers! missed our old days..everyone pushing each other to break our limitation..wow! and i gonna create that in team smu. when u break, u get a breakthrough. we were on our way for david tao concert..accompanied me to national stadium for my beauty bath. hehe. planned to go leisure park for dinner..our hang out place after training..but to our surprise..no more leisure park...gee the chicken chop with the very nice garlic bread that hx alwaz bought a lot to eat one. gone. but anyway we had a great chat eating at mac anyway. enjoyed the conversation a lot. pretty deep one i must say. nice.

then we realised we got an extra ticket for david tao concert..and i gto rou along. she reached indoor stadium in abt 20mins. power la! steady. hit it off with my frds easily. told us about her exciting ride. the concert was simply awesome! power band, his vocals..songs...melted! tian tian..ai wo hai shi ta...ai hen jian dan..fainted on my chair...touched my heart. nice. pretty impressed with david tao on how he let his team to b in the limelight..to shine on his or her own. and they really carried it off dame well. brillaint!

gotten an answer. move on. expectations come with disappointments, bear that in mind ya...:)

the day has come...

2005-11-25T16:01:00.000+08:00

one more day to river regatta. smu gonna show the dragonboat community that we exist tomorrow. the teams we are competing are pretty strong but well we gonna give our best no matter wad. finish the race that we set ourselves to begin with. stroke by stroke we gonna bring ourselves to our common destination. only a handful of us have dragonboat competition experience..so is the first time exposure for most of our team mates. the atmosphere filled in the air..gee..i gonna experience it again. is dame high...testing of human physical limitation. going beyond one's limit. breaking ur own limitation. brilliant...! fighting togther as a team..nto forsaking one...everyone putting their best effort and not regret after the race. even when there's tears, it should be of joy and not regret. yes..looking forward to it. :)

also there will be familiar faces..nyjc juniors, my seniors, my batch ppl..esp my dearest girls' team! shai, weilin..dino..and hx in my heart. cos she in china studyin la..yup. looking forward to seeing them too! with all the updates..bitching..fun! oh yea..after that gonna watch weilin's bf performance..yea is david tao! lol. another to look forward to man! all thanks to dino who got us the tickets..yeppy!:) i bet it gonna b a tired night with all the activites line up for myself..yup esp in the midst of exam preparation. gee..n i havent pack my bag for my trip..oh no.. gonna film rush hour when i finished my exam. chop chop chop....oh yeah!

gonna check out hark music cafe with john/andrew/cw/n mayb niki...fun ppl to hang out with. glad to found this group of ppl man. simply awesome! cool! yup..hopefully there's no sabo from dearest cw...i will b a good listener! enjoy the music..alrighty back to my books!

lastly...

TEAM SMU WHOOSSHHHhhhh...!!!!

simply loving it...

2005-11-20T23:17:00.000+08:00

woohoo..i had a great evening with cw,rou,andrewson and john! simply awesome night! it was high..wow..happening night lo. My cheeks kinda cramped from the laughter..my voice becoming hoarse...omg. thanks for the wonderful evening man! We should do this more often!!!hehe. *winkz. so funny la..when cw and i were "processing" john, we got excited and got carried away with what we doing. he kept exposing me..tmd! lol. Wahen as we walked to ps to take train..dunno wHat 's wrong man..everybody got excited and walked dame fast la. then i gotta increase my frequency..luckily i got stamina lo. lol. good good. :)

see my kakis...andrew taking pic for us... *starting from left, rou, john,joan,chuanwei

oh yea..gotta start mugging..but first clear my project reports first. btw i'm having a study week now..but it doesn't quite make a difference cos my project reports n presentation are all taking part of my week. endure for another two weeks..n off i go to HK!!! :)

gambattei nei!

counting down...

2005-11-19T23:23:00.000+08:00

Last second training before regatta. the girls' boat finally glided..

Listen to your own stroke.
Feel your own stroke.
Listen to your team's stroke.
Feel the glide.
Listen to your own breathing.
So many actions to do in just executing one stroke.
Need a high level of consciousness.

In the past, when i used to play netball, commitment was greatly emphasized. Commitment to the team and coming for every training. n be discipline to do ur own homework. Was often told abt ur member counts in the team. didn't really felt in that period of time. but the feeling gets stronger when i joined dragon boat. Gee..is really a team's sport that depend on every single person in the boat. Everyone counts.

Being the pacer..really suck. i certainly have an issue with that i seee...the water is damme heavy. the worse part is when u chao pia then the boat is still moving slowly. Agressiveness..how m i gonna create that in them?! the arrGGHhhh-ness. What does it take to fight all out? Fighting a race that is either u make it or u break it. my expectation for my team is simply just everyone putting in their maximum strength in executing every stroke they do. At the end of the race, there's no regrets..no tears.

Attended a talk by this Mr Teo of International Enterprise. Got to know about the potential growth of Central China. wooo...something interesting about what he said. "gotta thank 2 persons for making singapore succesful..first person is President Suharto for stablising his economy in indonesia..which allowed singapore to have a backyard to do business n grow. the 2nd person is chairman Mao cos he started cultural revolution tht caused china to b backward for 25 yrs..i was like..wow..what a perspective n true lo.

oh..a conversation with xiaobai and peiying today. i seem to enjoy such private conversations and got to know them better. Peiying also like to read wild swans that kind of books...wahh...getting to know ppl is interesting. time n effort gotta b put in..but well everyone has their beauty. is just a matter of time for u to discover. interesting.

i see the light at the end of the tunnel...

2005-11-18T13:20:00.000+08:00

cheonged my 2 presentations yesterday. the best part of SE project is the video we did and the team bonding we shared during this short period of time. oh yea..i am increasing my database for my female frds in smu. lol. we are going to take same module next term, yeppy! i so love this group. the fun and laughter..how we learn
together..our company has made learning very enjoyable! the video was hilarious..had quite a number of NGs and let our creativity flows..yeap..this is coming from stunts management uni aka smoking management uni. hehe. luckily we have a hidden weapon for our presentation cos other grp also zhun stunt like rapping. woohoo..very cool!

Had a wonderful time chatting with zak! glad that our conversation went deeper man..yeppy! sharing of each other's life and our views. wow..awesome outing! totally enjoy that. secret recipe_chocolate banana..terrific! yummy..something i been craving for. yess..n i also have craving for Harry potter show..but very rush nowadays. that can put on hold first.

just finished my part on my socio project..something that has been lagging. interesting topic. identity. apart from my project..just ponder on what forms ur identity? what makes u the way u r now? who influenced you during ur different phase of ur life? For me...my family played a major role in developing my character, esp my father and sister.

a child's identity is form by 3 basic blocks- dependency, attachment and socialisation. value system/belief system that you r deeply atatch to. depend on family. peer interaction in ur communities...help in the development of one's identity.

even the people i working with now in my socio project are mostly my pri sch mates and jc mate...one of them was my classmate in sec 4. how small the world is..after a long journey..u end up in the same uni. i guess is more of a cosy kind of feeling with them ard. yup..interesting. we have all grown. :)

quite a number of pending items waiting for me to submit..user manual for system, rfid future...socio presentation, study for socio n networking. oh yea..i need my flu jab!!! places are running out of the jabs..if u know of any place that has, pls inform me k! for my china trip one..pray for safe trip sia.

alrighty..till then..
-peiling-

tuesday with joan @ visitor centre - hungry girl...

2005-11-15T11:18:00.000+08:00

heyyy.....i'm hungry..still in visitor centre. waiting for my next shift to take over me.

alrighty..check it out for my next term time table..
Wed and thurs taken up for 3 modules.
Initially planned for CAT meow meow one..but didnt get it. kaoz. okie anyway i bidded quite low la. whatever.
mentioned that zak n i planning for some modules together but in the end we didn't end up in the same class.
well..as agreEd, we gonna take CAT next next term. hehe. gee..meaning we no module next term. haiz. test our friendship sia! Keep in touch k!:p hmm...i'm in the same class as my SE group ppl..the power girls la. yeaa! very nice ppl..i like them. so fun! we thought of doing something pleasantly surprise for our presentation. cool! then gonna b in same class with peiling for TWC. opting for same marketing with yinghui_miss fraggie. a possible FA module. yeaa..looking forward for deeper friendships forged. well..if timing clash n all for marketing n FA..then i just gonna b contented with 3 modules and enjoy my 2 day week. hey..but means i can find more work to earn money!!! for my gai gai trips...for my possible vocal lessons. and also learning car. yeaa...better go learn. hehe. the vocal lessons been wanting to do it..thought i could continue after my guitar lesson which i only managed to complete my beginner course. yeahh...some more got kakis if go for vocal lessons lo. yeppy..Keep in view!

aiyozz..peifen still sick...pls take care take care. luckily never let her train for previous training. if nto surely worsen condition.

Take care ppl...my duty ending!yeepy!

happening evening SiAaaa..lol

2005-11-13T22:07:00.000+08:00

wow..had an fantastic evening with the my new friends! all thanks to chuan wei the XBT!lol. yea..power la met Shin fans! Andrewson and john..2 knives combined into one called themselves underground band! lol. andrewson power power lo cos he biaooo until very nice! think he should have practised for quite soem time. bu gui shi shin fan. this reminds me of my cousin_rou..cos she like shin songs then everytime @ ktv force me to sing with her.."si leeeee douuu yaooo aiiii......" lol. voice surely break! Anyway andrewson n john were biao-yinglike no one's biz..so worried for their voice, might just break their vocal lo! Each of us go into different market one...andrewson shi li pai, john ou xiang/band with andrewson, chuanwei family market... i go shi li pai la..lol. They are ultimate lame man..but very funny la.yah..chuan wei keep sha-ying guangliang those gentle lu xian. yea he sang his my way song..lol. oh yea..we tried one of my fav songs at the moment by zchen "hen xiang ni" *must listen! anyway we sing until not bad la considering first time lo. haha. Had a good laughing session. got somebody bi wo hai yao zi bian zi dao zi yan leh!yea that goes to john lo! power man! i kenna slap left right up down by him while q-ying for food man..with his ultimate lameness. very quick thinker..shoot me back sia. mei you si guo! lol. but fun la.got a few times i just ignored him lo..and turned n talked to andrewson. he kenna duii-ed. lol. wah...found another talk cock sing song frd liao..steady la. he's even more power than me n teckwee. oh no i gotta give up my seat liao. very fun n challenging to talk to ppl whose nao jing turn very fast one. then u also get to twist n turn ur brain to shoot back. n the best part is ur know what each other is talking about la. if not it will b dame sad la..catch no ball.

oh yea..they also cheong muchuan one. cool. not many ppl appreciates that la. long long time ago went muchuan with chuanwei..weiling/yulin/shai..listened to live music, ppl play guitar/keyboard n sing. very nice. very relaxing too. end up keep going to the thursday slot cos got cw's pri sch frd mah. lol. but i still prefers the monday's slot with ah du in it. he dame power one! sing jay chou/wong lee hom songs...waoo..u can just melt n be mesmerised by him. shuai dai le!!!:) *whistlewhistle.

Wow best...dino jio me to go listen to david tao's concert on 26th nov! powerrrr!!!! die die must roll there to listen after my races! :) his music rocks!

alrighty..get ready for a hell week ahead! with all the projects and presentations due...i will survive this. cos i m a survivor!lol. gambattei neiz! after this week..will b my socio presentation..followed by regatta competition..then socio exam, networking exam...then....FLY OFF TO HONGKONG!!! yea..will b away from dec 4 to dec 16! yeah...blink blink blink...

oh yea..the christmas lightings are up in orchard road..beautiful. cw was laughing how sua gu i was like tourist first time visiting orchard road. but i really very long nv come liao mah. geeee! btw if you happened to walk past sis building or what..the lightings there are also very beautiful. take some time to enjoy that beautiful sight in midst of ur busy-ness! Even when things move past you like wind..remember to take time to enjoy every moment. :)

Wish you a fruiful day ahead...

till then...
-peiling

in moments like this..i sing u a song...

2005-11-10T18:47:00.000+08:00

was in pretty low energy and allowing myself to experience moment of sadness. what was the sadness about i wonder? with people ard me..i can be energised. but when i'm alone, there's just this sadness flowing through me. looking at the rain drops...rainy day...a song was playing in my head. was attracted to jacky cheung song "我真的受伤了". is it meant to explain how i felt? no la..is just that the tune n stuff..i just like it.

share with you guys lyrics my buddy wrote for me_adrina. :p that was nearing 2 yrs le bah...

如果

当我想起你呵护的记忆
是否离去一切会变得孤寂
天空放晴你的影子离我好遥远
好远的距离分隔两地

时常想起你微笑的记忆
当你离去我的世界变孤寂
下起了雨我的幸福留在你心里
希望有人像我爱你

*如果不用说再见
伤悲会不会少一点
如果不用睁开眼
能否在梦里多一天

在这思念的季节
我仍然坚强面对
只想回到花开的从前

As i read thru this again, it's pretty much talks about how i felt during this period of time, 3 yrs back. time flies...what was left behind are good old memoried and a scar.

he was inspired after reading my story..and gave me as a gift before we part from our job. very sweet. yeap. Only manage to have the tune for the chorus part..but well..hopefully huixian can come up with a tune for me! hehe. :p

Well, met up with adrian recently after a yr of missing in action. very talented guy. due to his busy work schedule, he seldom pen down his songs liao..wasted. yup..anyway had a good chat with him. the other time i was talking abt drifting apart from him, but hey..we are back again! welcome back to be part of my life. hehe.

oh yea..back to yesterday training. i was looking forward for training to begin..so that i could sweat it out. got the lowest number of girls yesterday..6! yup understandable that some rushing for projects and stuff. but we still make the best out of our presence. yup..it was not really shiong i felt. even increase the numbers for the last 2 sets. prob i was driven by something else and couldn't feel my tired-ness. yup..

was a quiet night. had a nice chat with xiao bai on way back to room...then on way home, got a joke sms from xiao hei. haha. didn't catch the joke in the first place cos weren't in the mood for it. but that was a good timing tho. begin to come out of my dark hole...had a great chat with buddy tw. lifted my spirits up even more. steady. we're running on pentium 4 kind so very easily catch each other mind. power sia. i also think so. such a amazing thg in which how our friendship started and where was e point our friendship blossomed into something deeper. it is really nice. n i appreciates that. :) yup n we acknowledged that. cool! my 2nd buddy in SMU. *chop* he's my bestest buddy in dragon boat team.

Got to know audy a little better during this period of time too. besides, being dragon boat mates, we are class mates too. hmm...how did our friendship begins? did notice him during the networking lesson..err..my class is pretty small, confirm will see one. then saw him for his first training @ db, pretty dao dao kind. then met him in class..i tried striking up conversation with him la..after all same cca mah. But then he like very unwilling to talk to me lo. kaoz. hang up n sell lo. lol. anyway i think the turning point was the SMU run about. didn't know he can b that lame. ever since then, he suan me like no one biz lo. but then again, who don't suan me one?! whatever la..lol. mayb my face has the 3 words "pls suan me!" kns la. haha. :) yah then as we were walking, met a lot of our own friends..busy saying hi to them. like very popular sia. haha. kinda playing a game of popularity lo. 比比看，谁的人气指数比较高? i think SKN fits him totally. looks like one actually. lol. opSss.

Well competition is coming soon. wish everyone well n healthy. take care of urselves. even when ya cheong-ying for ur studies or competition, do take care. gambattei nei!

alrighty..back to project!:)

till then...

state of emptiness

2005-11-09T13:03:00.000+08:00

yeppy! Finally done with my cheena presentation yesterday. Pretty funny scene. yes i get that i'm a long-winded person, naggy is my middle name. hehe. asked michelle to ehem me when i reaching my sixth minute but i totally ignored her. omg...how present was i. i guess not. dame. when i'm left with my last part to cover, prof kindly told me i have only 2 mins to finish up. i was like...*take a deep breathe and get ready for a fast ride! haha. i felt my nervousness while presenting. i heard myself stuttering for some parts. not prepared enough? not present enough? gee.. but well is over. Naggy me as what michelle feedback. alright. but still understandable la. hehe. compensation sia. Moving on to the next group..one of them speaks as if she is reciting poem..very careful and well-rehearsed. to the point of not natural. some class mates in the class were giggling to selves, hiding behind lappie. ya..i didnt think it was funny or what la..just that it sounds really weird and used a lot of chim chim words. to impress or to express eloquently i wonder? anyway, think she lengthen her speech a lot which results in her last member to bring us on a bullet train ride. Super super fast...i cant help but to giggle behind my lappie. it was hilarious la. controlling my laughter. my row of ppl were fighting back our laughter...omg. yea..i know very mean. okok. bygone. :p

yea..bidding starts for next yr time table. strangely for this term, i made the effort to be in the same class for some of my friends. hehe. but the thg with that is gotta coordinate everybody's timing which i finds it a hassle. if two people still easy but when it comes to a bigger number. is madness. jingwen n i planned for same module but both of us have friends to join us. we are nv in the same class or activity since jc lo..except for our one and only gp class. but blessing is that we end up in the same instituition now. hehe. yup..nothing stop our friendship from growing no matter how much we drift apart we will still find our way back to our friendship. that's beautiful. :) Initially wanted to join gerald for CAT but prof and timing cannot really make it..i think i join cos of his presence rather than the other factors. cos he is one funny and Bitchy guy. very feminine one. hehe. i enjoy having war of words with him..very entertaining! well next time when there's chance. but good thing is gonna bid same class with zak! begin to wonder how our friendship started...was in the same stats class with him. thought he was indonesian. Then went for make up lesson for shum's oos lesson, happened to sit beside each other. cant rem who spoke to who first. blur blur memory..then back to stats class for the "threesome"-nina, zak and me. openly copying each other answers..enjoying our self-declared long breaks and chatting sessions after class. wowww...tHat was super fun man! glad our friendship still continues from then...*action action from Zak's msn icon! hehe. Cool!!!:)

Like for buddy teck wee..didn't have a pleasant conversation with him from the start cos due to communication break down, he went over to SPA bukit timah campus instead of city campus. ohh..he was speaking english to me at that time. how come i never burst out laughing at that time but now i do?! lol. just so automatic for both of us to talk anytime/any medium of communication man. steady bom bom pipi!

yupz..i pay attention to how friendship started...just find it amazing how simple gesture/conversation will develop into friendship or even deeper ones. love that. And takes two parties to maintain it for it to last.

yeppy training tonight...! Do take care of your health and drink lots of water.

Cheers!

row row row the boat....

2005-11-06T21:26:00.000+08:00

yoohooo!
guess what i did in the morning at 8am??? Went for my 2nd round of dragonboat on a sunday morning. Pretty challenging to pull myself out of bed man cos was drizzline and man...such a good weather to sleep!but as promised my siblings on our dragonboat outing, i pulled myself up and get ready. yea..my bro in HSBC team..so sis & i part-timed row there. Was very shiong cos completely different stroke from mine man. emphasis was different..they 'eat' front water. kaoz. if i continued using my stroke, i can't catch up with them man. gEee..pretty shag. it was nice to do a common activity with my siblings...after such a long time. glad we have a common interest. :) And they like my passion! Nice to see the 3 of us fighting together..hehe. shall bring my mum down next round huh! lol. then we'll have a family rowing outing! haha

finally settled my team singlet..after negotiating using my 'aunty' style with the supplier, he agreed to cut one more dollar for us. yeppy! kinda feel much like a sales talk..haha. but anyway, that's that la. all thanks to adrian who has been coordinating all these with the supplier and the designs. i think during this process, i also get to know him a bit more la. besides knowing him as potato..hehe. good good.

frankly speaking i prefer one to one conversation than group kind. i guess is the attention i have to give for all as compared to just one. yeah..had a proper conversation with ah niao on way home. yupyup..his teochew is not bad lo...better than xiao bai! lol. yea..enjoyed my conversation with him man. or is it...i doing most of the talking. lol. gEee....i should shut up and let him talk more. boo! never mind there's next time. anyway get him to organise a dragon boat outing to watch harry potter..dunno successful not. lol. aiyoo..harry potter is coming! pompom...happy movie..so magical! yupz. btw his nickname given by others is tweet...haha. that's my nickname when i in jc man..oh do u remember the horrible short hairstyle which i thought i look cool in it. come to think of it....alrighty. no comments. bygone. lol. ok like a little brother. :p

was working with my se group on the extra stuff that my prof gave. very extra leh!!! kaoz. waste time lo. then at first i wanna stay back and do my stuff..then after go for dinner. 10pm at that time liao....they one of them suggested to go secret recipe for cake...*ding ding...*chocolate banana is calling me. immediately i was like...hmm...okok..i'll finish up. and join u all. lol. ma chiam filming rush hour .chop chop..off we go to ps. but when we reached there, it closed. sad case. so we ate at cartel...shared calories. chit chat. nicenice. yup..they were asking how i managed to b so high energy and stuff...??? i wanted to say cos i done work on myself liao lo. hehe. okie..also mayb cos of the sports i do.

loving each day as it comes...enjoy!
:)

shag. fun. enjoyable

2005-11-03T10:49:00.000+08:00

hey...
finally crawled back from yesterday night super shag training. we went to our favourite place, sis sulken pit for our workout. omg....initially zhui planned for 3 sets then increase our numbers. so ok set. then later he got back to me asking for 4 sets. steady...so i tried out the first set with the increased number. okie...the girls still haven 'die' cos only first set mah..go for 2nd set..i a bit giddy. but still can carry on. then they were saying..okok last set. then zhui or whoever telling them is 4 sets. geEEe i forgot to inform them abt the change. opps. then heard something from cheryl..wow..she revealing herself more as i get to know her man. lol. but anyway, what i saw was people pushing themselves..giving support to each other. after each activity i was like F*uckkkk.....especially climbing the freaking staircase. the more i want to go faster, the more i slow down. wth!
when i came down the stairs, my legs felt like jelly..is a long fleet of stairs. careful roll down lo. when u kept on doing the sets, u actually cant really feel ur hands and legs anymore, they were just doing the exercise without ur control. yes u still..but the body is on automation. yup is to that effect.

one of them was saying to change one of the exercise cos is hurting herself...hmm..i kinda 'told her off'. how can expect the team to change for u just cos u can't do it? is just lack of practice and the technique may be wrong. the point is you may not b able to change the environment to suit you, but what you can do is change urself to adapt to the environment. for that to happen, u gotta allow that possibility that you are able to change n u see the need to change. only then, u will change automatically. is just like no matter hwo much i correct ur stroke, esp when u tired, u wont listen. cos u wanna continue doing what is comfortable to you. but then again, is wrong technique. the thinking process of how u execute the thgs u do is important man.

But one thg gotta applaud the girls for them pushing to their limit!!! even tho is so tiring during training, but i really enjoyed myself. even tho at times when i wanted to give up within, to go easy on myself, but i saw my team mates fighting as hard. i can't let them n myself down. is we see ourselves pushing thru that moment...n finally all the smiles you gotten from one another as acknowldgement that hey..we really did our best. these girls can really be pushed. hey...we're heading towards "beyong the limit". How's that? Be assured that you'll see a stronger side of you that you never imagine urself to be. And yes we gonna unveil that! stay tuned!:)

After that we planned a surprise bday 'party' for our captain Zhui! he was tapoked by the guys...in the midst, buddy teckwee took off his shirt! i thought wth he was doing man. for what??? he went over to being squashed by the guys ah zhui who was catching for breaths...buddy teck wee bUaaaEddd his smelly smelly smelly smelly smelly...shirt on zhui face. yuckksss!!@@!!! zhui exclaimed "wAOHhh..your shirt very smelly!" then part 2...small pieces of cake was smashed on zhui face, started by ron n gang. then they brought 'heat cream' to burn zhui man-hood!!! alamakzz...then xiao bai went to poke zhui butt hole. omg!!! after that zhui took revenge!!! but he was outnumbered la! then we took group photos haha. then on the way to bathing, people like jordan, ron, william, teckwee were taking a small piece of cake on their hand. for part 3 of the show. zhui also took..but again he was outnumbered! lol. poor boy. Heard it was dame happening in the guys' toilet la..pls see www.smudragonz.blogspot.com for more updates. lol. virgin blog by teck wee lo. lol.

during supper, ultimate i was holding 3 conversations with teckwee, xiao bai, xiao hei..weiling n jon. haha. kaoz i was actually surrounded by the three for easy target. lol. Fun fun fun. i think we chat until don't bear to leave lo..so enjoyable chatting with them. lol. all the suanings..laughing at potato-eaters. geEe i had a whole lot of fun man! then when we part..so nice of teck wee n audy to accompany me to walk over to bus stop. nice nice. then on our way there, buddy teck wee let me hear his fart. yup i m blogging this in as what i said! okok

enjoy ur day man!

lazing on a sunday...

2005-10-30T15:49:00.000+08:00

yeppy..finally finished my first draft of my 2nd cheena group report. before anything is thrown back at me..i'm FREE at the moment! Having my little break before i start on my bsm one. kaoz..so cheena for this term. haven been writing for a long time since...i also cant remember when. biangz was pushing myself to write out..got stucked. dame it. but then kinda fun la..smoking in chinese. something new in SMU!lol.

Had my training yesterday..kao dame shag man. we did racing for mixed boat. sucks la my old habit is back. transfer so fast dunno for what. but the thing is a entered at the same time as weizhong lo. but well think i 'confused' evelyn then she also followed my speed of transfer. yes..must remember to breathe constantly especially at tramsfer to slow myself down man. and you know what not, bo bian i'm the pacer for the 12woman crew. i never like being a pacer..cos i got short limbs la...truth lo. not effective when i m right in front. can't even extend my leg to kick lo. kns...who ask myself bu zheng qi, bu zhang gao yi dian. lol. sky born lo. but well....time is runnig out i shall just paced for this regatte n that's it man! Anyway, what was great yesterday..can hear people panting and fighting together. i seldom shout la..kinda draining my energy i realised. once in a while is fine tho. :) ohh..you know what...yesterday we hit the highest turn out rate for girls man. 17 girls!!! woohoo...with 2 experienced rowers in there. steady la! Joey is back training with us..long time no see. then jasmyn also still sick..plus wenfang who had lesson so cant come. if not we gonna have 19 girls. woohoo...good to see many girls training together. Hope they stay. yupyup...will do my interaction with them and share my passion! yeppy! My usual kakis were not here for training...buddy teck wee, xiaobai and xiao hei! lol. but all is still well. haha. btw i managed to sell the $300 worth of voucher to SHAH!!!! Hurray...he very very nice leh! MAde a call to him and he said he'll take all to EASe my burden worhhh....and said he's my shinning knight armour! if i remembered clearly..that's what he said. hahaa. steady la! then he also automatically help me carry my BOMB on our way to SDBA. plus points for him liao!lol. nice nice. i was super shag after training and hungry. so low energy man. sad case. Anyway, at the food centre, adrian lost his handphone and managed to get it back. lucky guy! good for him! Must take care of your belonging wherever you go.

Back in school for project, end up listening to yamwai talked. she's a hongkonger btw. shared with us a story that brought tears to my eyes..very touching.

This story is about fillial piety.

Here is goes...
Long time ago, there's this father who raised his sons till they grow up. As this father got older, he was struck with illness and had to be bedridden. His sons do not want to take care of their sick father and decided to bring him up to the mountain to be eaten up by the wolves. At the same time, it also stopped his dad suffering. How fillial is that???

One of the sons carried him up the mountain, on his way up, his dad was dropping stones along the path. Looking puzzled, his son asked his dad "Why are you dropping stones as we came up the mountain?"
His dad replied, "I know you are leaving me up on the mountain. the night is getting darker, i'm worried you wont be able to find you way down the mountain, so i dropped this stones for you to find your way back home."

Upon hearing, my eyes are filled with tears..yes even as i'm typing this out. Can you see the amount of love a dad has for his child? Even tho, my friend didn't tell me the ending but the point is the dad's love for his child does not stop even tho he knew that he will be abandoned. to be eaten up by the wolves..to stop his dad suffering? what kind of crap is that? It pierced through one's heart to be treated that way. One who raised you up to who you are now and you bite the hand that raised you up. How grateful is that??? For whatever reason one choose to justify abandoning his parents cos of illness/old age, i totally toally totally condemn that. What do you think your parents will do if you are the one who has illness...will they forsake you and leave you to die?

When i'm at my dad's funeral, one line struck me. "you raise me up, i'll take care of you till you grow old." Even tho he's not around physically anymore, i still have my mum to take care of. Is not even a question to me whether will i take care of my parent or not? It totally disgust me to watch people forsake their old aged parents and led their good lives. People actually resort to law cos their own children dont want to take care of them...omg. very sad. Be grateful to your source=parents. Don't bite the hand that feeds you. 饮水思源.

Was interesting to listen to michelle talk about her life. her family. her criteria for her husband. cool! he needs to be able to provide for her when she gets pregnant. yup..i'm the opposite of her. is good to have someone to 'depend' on but at the end of the day is still better to be independent... earn your own money. everyone shares the burden of building a family mah. most importantly, gotta have 上进心! imagine just being stagnant at where he is, when is he ever going to grow up and become bigger than who he is? you know why i choose the title..staygreenalways cos it stands for growth. mental growth especially. everyone is entitled to grow OLD but is really up to one whether one wants to grow UP or not. Once you turn brown, you 'die'.

pain pain

2005-10-28T13:50:00.000+08:00

liewz...pain n sleepy.
kaoz.

on the topic of friendship, zak was saying i hang out with more guys then females in uni. considering the fact that i'm from a girls' sch...my interaction with guys can say is minimum, see no out right. haha. actually..by nature i'm a shy n soft-spoken girl. hahaha. crazy...probably i shall try one day in that mode lo. see how u guys take it. plus a bit of demure in it. lol. one day some day i'll try that. That time my guy team mates were asking me to be more demure a bit cos i was talking pretty loudly andthey could hear me before i entered the room. haha. aiya..being demure also nto for everyone to see one mah right. Must give exclusive rights one. hehe.

aiyo..nowadays see people sick..fall down the escalator...must really take care of self man. what does it take to take care of self??? drink 8 glasses of water everyday..exercise regularly, eat ur meal regularly, sleep for least 5 hrs. aiyoz. when it comes to doing, hwo many actually does that?! well...i cannot fall sick one. once i down, my pattern is that i will take very long to recover one. which means i'll have to miss my trainings and struggle with my projects. kaoz. Keep my mental state healthy. :)

arghh...not gonna let the pain gets me..sucks. gonna start work again.

rain falling in my heart...

2005-10-27T23:12:00.000+08:00

just thought is quite a nice line..especially in this cold windy night.
Listening to ji mo de ji jie by david tao. English title: Lonely season.
Kinda relevant to what i gonna talk about now.

Had dinner with zak..quite an interesting conversation. On the topic of relationship.
Does platonic friendship exist?
Two persons from the opposite sex having a pure friendship.
Personally i have a couple of really good male buddies.
1) Junwei: nyjc senior. - knew him thru nyjc irc channel..sms..met up in sch. yeah still in contact.
2) Adrian: colleague.- standard chartered intern for him..me partimer there. kinda drifted apart liao....
3) David: og mate and classmate for first term of yr1. defintely still in contact.
4) Teck Wee: noticed him @ sailing party when he played the drums, with his super long hair. very sut ki one. my talk cock sing song buddy. ultimate one! climb very fast to the buddy status. Power! Was chatting with peifen today then she was sharing with me how teck wee thought of getting soemthing for me too. [private for the three of us.hehe] is the thoughts that count.

Zak also know Teck Wee..sayin he friendly to everyone..yup. But well, let's see how deep our friendship can go man.:) Zak also another potential buddy..let time tell. :) Anyway, he kept teasing me la..let nature takes it course. Even if i'm attach or not attach, i'm still good with any. No expectation, no disappointment. at times when i look at how others play their love game, hmm..as if the world revolves the two of them. but well that's for others. hehe. and for the possessiveness, i'm not gonna play it that way..that for sure. haha.

being single, you just do whatever u wanna do..who cares?! But when attached, gotta consider another person too, like what jingwen always tell me...is very different liao. okie..unless really really meet the kind of person i wanna be with and willing to alter my lifestyle. heyy..but well there's always the thing call having best of both worlds. haha. Things can be worked out one la..anyway, also no worries now. haven face that kind of situation. haha. set ur own rules and play the game. that's part of life too.

yup..something funny happened in class. I was sitting in between Audy and Zak. Then suddenly my stomach bu zheng qi...actually growled. yes...it is hungry. Then i thought nobody heard..k quite loud la. then i continued acting..as if nothing happened. Then audy msged me on msn...oeii..ur stomach growled out. aiyo..so paiseh la...then i turned to look at him, he was controlling his laughter. we're in class u see..so we controlled. laughing endlessly. silent laughing that is so unbeareable. will have internal injury one lo. skn! i realised something for audy..he also used terms like guk tao and ya..he called me siao eh. lol. just reminded me of david whenever we called each other.."eh siao eh..wanna go play badminton/supper..." yeah..it was fun.
yup to think that he gonna be away for next term. gonna miss him man! yup..and he keep hinting for his farewell gift. skn! haha. Glad he came for the land training last week..tho he has no intention to stay on, well..i also dont wanna force him. people think i was 'flirting' with him...geee...*faintz.

alrighty...projects projects..saturday still need to go back to sch after training. kaozzz....

updates...

2005-10-27T11:57:00.000+08:00

hey..
Had an interview with Mr Ow, Chairman of AnnAik company. My group was enquiring about his challenges and insights in his China business. It was entertaining and fun learning from him man. He has lots to share..right from his humble beginning to where he is now. bai shou qi jia... from nothing to something. Power! He has companies all over china..prob i go his local company for part-time first..then see got chance to go oversea for internship with his company not. yea..he's a inspiring one, always moving up to become someone bigger than who he is. Taking on new challenges. A LEADER who stands for his employees in becoming bigger than who they are too. Challenging them...getting them to explore the opporunity to earn more by upgrading themselves. Excellent. From what he shared..altho it may be one-sided, well..give him the benefit of doubt that what he shares is true. i'm attracted to the family culture in the company..how he instil the idea of the company as another home for the employees. Cool! :) Great gonna include this as part of my plan liao. yeppy!

The previous night, ford msn-ed me. wow..what wind blew him here. lol. he's my ny senior. his sis also from dragonboat one. cool. very funny and crappy guy. everyday he kenna ambassordor on my time slot, we chit chat and laughed one lo. very fun. Make each other ego big big then burst it. lol. i feel especially small when i'm beside him. lol. then on my way to bus stop, i bumped into him..then he called out.."xue mei...." i was like..alamakz....then replied..."xue ge.." dame dramamama la..interesting fellow!

Went recce with Adrian in the morning for our team singlet. yup this round is much better la..cos conversation became more interesting la. got topics to talk about. luckily we had David as our common link. And he is our buddy. one thing interesting about us is..we bao toh each other secrets or what we said...kns la. seems like a trend man. haha. that short outing is like a "Team bonding" session sia. Nice. Before i met adrian, i bumped into hao meng from eci on the same bus. spoke about my dragonboat team...he's from the australian team. "Gives ur fullest attention to the person you talk to. Earn your respect" Defintely. Respect and trust have to be earned..through own actions/words. Well talk is cheap..action speaks louder. yup.:)

Training was dame shag la. ahh...i set the pace for the girls , along with peiying. picked up in the speed as compared to the previous training. yes..part of my bursting effect training for them. Gonna push them...till they break their limit. But still feel that they can be pushed. Haven check with them yet. Will do. Was a great run i felt. Next the land exercises...cut down on transition time. they are pretty quiet..gee. btu overall performance still good. yup. :) The stairs was quite a challenge but time pass very fast when i just looked at teh stairs in front and go at a fast pace. blink blink blink..i'm nearing the top. haha. Cool!

Oh yah...teck wee said he had a surprise for me!!! then as i was waiting for his arrival..but he nv come. thought he "put me aeroplane". but then as the girls came back from running. i Saw a "GIRL" running in front of us...with ugly ponytail. guess who?? is dearest Teck Wee!!!lol. Then after training, he passed me my surprise discreetly. lol. very nice of him la. thoughts that count!!! Thanks! Add on to my collection. :)

Getting ready fro dinner with some of people who stayed back. Weizhong cannot stand my expressive facial expressions. lol. What to do...wo shi ge xi zi! hehe. my trademark leh. :p Sky born one. Anyway, our table was pretty quiet..mayb everyone was hungry. I was creating table topics but failed. sad case la. lol. whatever la...slowly got talk liao when all the stomachs were filled up...except for audy. you dont see him slim slim one..he can really EAT alot...wOWw..what to do ppl high metabolism rate. no matter how he eats, wont grow fat one. kao. lol.

After dinner, about 11pm liao. Audy and I proceeded to our study room. guess what we are doing there???? hahaa. of cos do our networking assignment. haha. did discussion and chit chat also. Good la..he explained some of the stuff to me..he more experienced in networking lo. Also understand better. I think talk to him face to face is better la. Continuous conversation at least. hehe. he like ask quite a few questions. ma chiam interview session. Another "team bonding" session of the day. lol. yeppy! by the time i'm done is already 1245am liao..then was chatting with teck wee on msn. i told him i still in sch..he was like..VERy sad...Sad...wth. how encouraging. lol. But kinda touched by his concern la..asking how m i going home at this time?! yupyup. you xin jiu hao. Nice. No worries got a ride from audy. Very windy...cold cold..eyes dry dry..sleepy sleepy...yeap. safe ride! :)

Alrighty...going to sch soon. till then...

u go girls!!!

2005-10-22T21:41:00.000+08:00

there are 2newcomers_debra and wenfang. Good that they pulled through the land and sea training. yup...they were kinda frightened off by our training. today only 8 guys turned up..so sad case la. so many people cannot make it. aiyoz. then girls got 10.enough for one whole boat. yes zhui got us to work on our bursting effect. need time to get used to it. but i'm running out of that. i can only just keep pushing them...what does it mean to go all out, without holding back? how am i going to 'break' them? once they get pass that, they will do it automatically liao...gEE. one more month to work on that. i think my pacing is giving all a relaxed time man. mayb that's why they dont really pant that much. i just gotta keep going n going. till i break for every set. did 10 sets of 10 workout with them..quite a struggle towards the end man. omg...phew..glad we pulled through. gambattei!!!!

just nice met my bro, ian, at SDBA. said hi to his hsbc team. hehe. then he came up to fill water. got teck wee to come over n introduced him to my brother. lol. always enjoys our conversations man. we made each other ego until very big by our kind words. lol. dunno what's with weizhong today, kept tryin to step on my toes man. then said i always gives "stupid" look. what to do..my facial expressions very feng fu mah! can see they very much enjoy disturbing me. whatever....then teck wee consoled me.."you so popular la..fang pi de shi hou people also wanna know. yea.lol. yea..he's a very fun person to be with. machiam like a big brother to me. then on and off shoot me yan yu. i dont know much yan yu..so i can only shoot him my limited idioms. hehe.

Went for tuition after training. took a short nap. hmm..enqi got A1 for her chinese. Cool!!! steady. had a good chat with uncle and aunty. yupyup...uncle and rou went for trekking session @ tree top and ended with roti prata with mutton soup. wdh!!! lol. missed our walking session from serangoon to lower pierce reservoir. walk and talk..talk and walk. sharing of our passion..ideas..dreams. she'll be going to usa for work and study for one yr plus...geEe gonna miss her!!! happy for her! maybe before i come back from china, she might be off to usa liao. gEE.

Pissed in the beginning..but fun in the end!

2005-10-21T13:30:00.000+08:00

wah...yesterday i actually showed a pissed off look due to one of my project. Was so screwed and buay song the tone of one member. disgust me. Almost couldnt get to go for my ktv outing which i planned and have craving for a long time. cool. my cousins...shufen and my new buddy! my cousins like him very much and chopped him for future ktv sessions. power. commented he's a nice guy. yea..i agree. he's the type lu jian bu ping, ba dao xiang zhu kind. and very jiang yi qi type. best! pleasure to be his friend man. :) very touched when i asked him to help me out, he came down lo. best best. very steady. :) Anyway, the ktv was super fun cos my cousins very crazy n super happening one. he also ru xiang sui su lo...joined in our madness. we all enjoyed ourselves!:)

had a good chat with chuanwei @ work....he claims he is a xiao bai tu. kaoz...whatever lo. people fair mah.
what to do...lol

freeing myself up...

2005-10-19T14:40:00.000+08:00

Had my Softeware Engineering meeting yesterday..stayed till 11plus. Dame shag. I took on something new. Writing PHP ..yup..getting some hands-on. With my shi-fu peiling and elaine, they guide me on php stuff. I thought is pretty fun. hehe. Got excited when i saw my codes work and able to run on our website. this is so cool!!! played with php for awhile and mysql...fun la. hehe. I think my SE group mates are good lo..very willing to guide and teach you. the relationship is more of sister-sister one. well, i want to see it that way and attach that meaning to the relationship. hehe. but well, everyone's goal is to complete the task for the 'greater good'. is like some of us have test or project/assignment dued, we all will help each other out..to cover each other up. we are not calculative on who do what. whoever is available just help out in what we need to complete lo. a lot of encouragement and support. at the same time we have fun too! n laughter..muching away with chips. hehe. And when we meet up with our mentor who evaluates our team, i'm in charge of smoking her!!!lol. the information that i reveal..there's truth in it. probably we just work around the thgs that should b done in certain way. hehe. i certainly do enjoy meeting up with them as compared to my other project groups. :) nice.
when i got home, i was knocked out totally and slept till 10am today. SHOIKZ!!! time begins to move slowly...very long don't have such feeling. yes..most of the time doing my projects and assignments..training..work. dame..where's time for myself? today and tomorrow...is not that i dont have time for myself. there are moments when i walk alone..listening to music while studying..yup that's my way of spending time with self. hehe. yeaahh..later going for body combat..free workshop. then dragonboat training after that. 4 of my friends coming in for dragonboat training. cool. Jason, david buddy( shall intro him to teck wee buddy- chuanwei i know what you are thinking..whatever!haha), debra and her frd. yea..i love to get my different circles of frds to know each other, dont care if they like it or not..but they know is my style. hehe.:p

Jason[eaCt partner] was asking me yesterday what attracted me to dragonboat?
Good question.

TEAM SPIRIT!
The fact that really everyone is indispensible in the boat. Everyone effort counts. The moment one person slack, the whole boat will slow down. To me, Dragonboat is a team effort about each of them rowing your own weight...and if you can, you carry your friend's weight. If you push hard enough, you'll see the test of human limitation. If you press on and push it through, you'll get breakthrough and realisation about yourself. I got that. Amazing.

Sometimes, we just wanna hold ourselves back when it comes to effort, for what? Cos there's always the next one? What if there isn't? then say bye bye to the opportunities awaiting you and welcome back to square one.
Now in a dragonboat, is not about just YOU. it involves your team mates. Stroke by stroke that's what we gonna do to bring ourselves to our common destination becos that's the common goal we set together. Not letting down anyone especially self! when we are having our training, is competition. and when it comes to competition, is training. If the the paddle is your life, how would you treat your life? for me, i gonna do the steps that gonna make it work for me. If everyone has that mentality, imagine how fast the boat will be going. N we will be riding on the waves togther as a team. :)

As of now, still gotta push my ladies harder..lack in aggressiveness.

@ visitor centre

2005-10-18T11:14:00.000+08:00

5 visitors came in.
beat mosquitoes.
alone.
dressed formal but realised that the ministers are only coming in next week.
dame.
msn-ing. reading up.
evelyn n siling came in.
didn't realise why my attention is not on them.
sorry man.
Please come in next week.
My eyes will follow whererever u go.
haha. scary lo.
oh yah...
i don't have class tml cos hikaru got ulcer so cancelled her lesson.
i emailed her to wish her well.
to my surprise,
she replied with a sweet email.

Hi Joan,
Thank you :-) I always wanted to tell you, it's been wonderful having you in class. When I lecture and I sometimes look at your face you smile or nod. It is the most wonderful things a student can do for a teacher. Sometimes it is so hard to know whether I explained enough? whether students are getting bored? Did they understand my points? etc. Your nod is a great sign and your smile is worth more than thousand dollar of gold. For that and your sympathy I truly thank you:-)
Hikaru

That's very appreciative of her. very kind words.
Kinda guilty cos i was trying to keep myself awake during lesson.
Her chanting can bring me to lala land lo.
she's a very energised prof..all ready to go type. funny when she tried to speak singlish.

Befriended a new friend from poland. cuba...david's friend, exchanged student Very decent..silly and pretty good looking chap. geeky too..haha
Caught a glimpse of his desktop post it. He jot down hokkien words like knn...dua pui nei...omg...wonder what else david has been teaching him. lol. hilarious la..when cuba tried to insert lah into his sentences. funny funny.

heyhey..i managed to complete my chinese report yesterday night. yeppy! One down.

photos @ cheryl place

2005-10-17T00:38:00.000+08:00

horrible guys kept coming into our ladies picture.
every pic we took..has at least one body part in it.
gEEe!!!
but funny background la..wayang show sia!

front row:
joan.jasymn.sophie.evelyn.
back row:
siling.peifen.roshni.cheryl

shag but dame fun!

2005-10-16T11:33:00.000+08:00

woohoo...
yesterday was my search for teochews in the team man. Realised quite a few are..xiaobai,evelyn,teckwee,jasymn,bert...yeah. only tw dunno how to speak.
it was fun la ...cos throughout the day i been speaking to xiaobai in teochew.
but sometimes we cant get our idea across then use other languages. hilarious man.
he's fun and funny man..is the way he speak lo. very gek yan lo. yup. then we also form
e hippiest band in town called "Siao caihong" aka s-club. namely...xiao bai, xiao ai, xiao hong (jon),
xiao hei(audy) lol. this so lame but for entertaining purpose la. fun.

very happening at cheryl place la..played games and drank a cup of forfeit drink. that is dame full la.
sprite plus root bear. si mi gu tao is that. biangz. sucks! cos we wanna clear all the drinks that we bought mah.
laughter n fun. it was physical draining yesterday cos prior to cheryl place we had training. n i thought that was quite xiong lo. gee... good that i survived it. hehe. but dame i transferred a bit fast la. i should train up my left hand to balance ah. hehe.

lots of pictures are taken..boo the guys la. cos they always mess up our ladies pic with them in it. there's one pic dame funny..the background has the guys posing as if they are floating ard. funny man. will post soonn..hehe.

cool..just came back from breakfast with shai,dino,weilin @ cartel. they're my ny dragonboat team mates. shai drove us in mercedes lo. Rocks man. cool! very suit her image lo.. cos she is dame taitai-fied one. yup had a good catching up. i realised most of the time only me n shai doing the talking leh. haha. it was good.

i so wanna go ktv...save me from these projects! haha. Move it move it..get it over!

okok..time to rush my cheena report! gambattei neiz!

finding & creating time

2005-10-12T13:41:00.000+08:00

just went to funeral yesterday after my projects. initially was wondering what should i talk to him about. i didn't say any consoling words, so cliche i feel. what jie ai shun bian..ren si bu nen fu sheng. skipped all those. and the usual i'm so sorry to hear that. so fake i feel. think is more practical to just offer to chill out next time n to offer my listening ears. thought that is much better lo.

Well, at least he told me abt the situation. Quite a good chat i felt, considering we just got to know each other only. there were moments of silence. yes..luckily he dont eat potato one. hehe. it just felt a reversal of role. very different when you're the outsider, seeing the me in handling that situation yrs ago. i guess my frds might have felt quite awkward on what to talk to me about i guess. but life is still normal, so shared a bit of stuff like what he did and chat about any other stuff. What a perspective.

just came back with adrian to recce for printings for our team singlet. omg...he eats potato one. quite a challenge to speak to him in english. if i use chinese, he dont understand la. luckily i bilingual. haha. but i also half pass six one leh...lol. To improve english, talk to adrian. to improve chinese, talk to teck wee! dame..been influenced by tw on the potato thgy. lol.

yenny invited me to her hometown in indonesia for holiday man. cool! heard from her, there's mountain, beach...can go trekking and stuff. accomodation provided! Cool! looking forward to that but guess will only make it next yr april when my time is more free up.

Alrighty..project meeting time! gambattei neiz!

term break makes no difference

2005-10-11T01:16:00.000+08:00

Glad he shared with me his current situation. What i can offer is my listening ear, if he is comfortable with. Consoling words..? it doesn't work at this stage. Probably words of encouragement helps. facing it vs running away from it? Burying one in the work..that's what i used to do. At the stage when i can't do anything at all, just waiting. Empty wait i guess. Hoping for a miracle to happen in the end. Like how dramas usually play. gee doesn't seem to be true in reality man.

Shared my story with a friend of mine. My past. I'm no longer the girl i used to be in the story.
Grown up.

Now i'm truly happy. Being in the presence of the people around me..enjoying their presence too. Sincere appreciation for those who are with me in my life journey. Never i want to take them for granted. Enjoying life.

Finally caught up with Jingwen, my pal since nyjc orientation group. Even tho we are studyin in them same uni, but we seldom meet up. we have a very steady pattern..we break apart to live our lives and came back at some point in time to catch up and update each other. Cool. it was a great conversation with her, enjoyed very much. yup..we'll go ktv after exams. dame owing ppl ktv sessions. cousins...dragonboat ppl. can i combine all in one room then we just sing our hearts out. jingwen n i were discussing how we should celebrate our bday next year. we're just one day apart feb 12/13. so i can laugh at her for living in my 20 years old. But after 24hrs..i'll join her. clubbing session on her bday..then when it strike midnight..it shall be my turn. lol. good idea right. hehe

mum's bday is coming..this friday. She's a lovely woman, so love her. :) Getting vainer each day man..aiyoz. asking me if her double chin got reduce not. lol. opps..luckily she dont read english. lol. Gonna finish my work chop chop on friday man. My cheena report!!! Haven been smoking in cheena lo for a long long time.

till then...

Happy Birthday!

2005-10-07T23:35:00.000+08:00

Manage to pen down birthday wishes for a few people on Oct 7.

Happy Birthday to my papa...miss you!:)

Happy Birthday to Chuan Wei!

Happy Birthday to Sophie!

Had a long day..did my callings and got ppl say i got good phone etiquette. yes yes..as if singing song like that lo. haha. After that went back to sch to mug for sociology with yen. Steady la..she tested me the definitions and stuff. We were reciting in the room. Walking around...Hiding in one corner. She faced the glass window facing outside and i was hiding behind the pillar. Then yen's friend looked into the room and thought yen has gone mad cos she's talking to herself. haha.

P/S to Mr AUDY. He was nice initially la cos he helped me carry my bomb=lappie. But then when we go break...remember the glass door?!? okok private issue which i wish not to disclose any further. I rest my case, Forgive and forget. haha.

Oh yah..Teck wee actually msged me to tell me he told his gf about my -cannot make it engrish-. The story happened when i'm primary one. Prior to that i had a car accident when i was 9 months. Pretty deep scar. You might not be able to see it now cos my then pimple plantation has helped to cover that up liao. hehe. But anyway, my form teacher Miss Wong was concerned about the scar she saw on my innocent little face.

"Wu.....Peiling, what happened to your face???"

you gotta get that i speak teochew and mandarin since young. English is a really foreign language to me. So with limited english words...i tried to smoke my way thru.

"Miss Wong, last time young i got LANG CAR!" spoke in a bit of english slang. I meant "lang ga" in teochew for car accident. But with limited engrish words, got car mean correct liao la..so i thought is correct mah. haha.

If you don't think is funny here, pls get me to talk abt when you see me. lol. okok lame. The track record of this joke is highly "laughable".yup..alrighty..

Time for bed. Rough week ahead..you mean there's a term break?! Whatever..enjoy the ride!

Nitez

bUangEdd...

2005-10-06T20:26:00.000+08:00

my SE test was a buang...don't know how to do. Haiz...15% gone case. Can't even smoke way through cos all dealing with numbers man. confirm flunk la. alright that's that.

Something need to clear my space. Was in the lib sleeping then overheard someone called out zak's name. Somehow i caught that in my subconsciousness. Then after that our friends' kept teasing about me liking him. liewzz...he's a good friend of mine. When i explained i think it kinda yue miao yue hei. it also brought over to today man. I was sitting outside class, waiting for next lesson. Just nice he came to look for me and asked abt my test. So went to look for food. haha. yes yes..i'm always hungry. then after class joined zak n team for dinner. ya another round of teasing begins. sianz. i also cant be bothered la. Don't let this kind of gossips to affect our friendship man. He's really one nice friend i wanna keep. :) ohoh..btw audy is also same class with me. he dame mean to me la. insulted me. sobz sobz.

okok back to pia for my sociology paper.

wOoHooo!!!

2005-10-05T10:25:00.000+08:00

Hey..sea carnival is finally over! Had lots of fun and laughter. More of a team bonding session for us man. Went bowling with the guys..kena thrown into water by them. hmm..probably i should treat them better. haha. yes..i'm arrowed by them..they seeked pleasure in ka-jiao-ying me man. Probably i have the face "pls bully me!!!" KNS la..But anyway, is for the fun of it la. With Teck wee and me around, there bound to even more laughter. with his smelly smelly engrish..haha. Cannot make it la..when he speak his english. I will burst out laughing. dame corny lo. We also have new nicknames running around. KNS..my niao brother called me lin sao..dame aunty la. yup..he's Bertrand..in short for Bert= Bird. Then there's dexter..who is so fair..alamakz..xiao bai!!! then he called me what you know not..xiao ai! as in for shorty..KNS. He also another funny one. unexpected moves from him..alamakz.

Tried diving in the pool..but didnt complete it. gee..my water confidence is dame jia lat. Haiz.. anyway, gone for wakeboarding. happening sia...until when we reached the open sea. the engine died on me!!!ahh..then we crawled back slowly...so suay lo. Banana boat is super duper fun man!!! So exciting. Thrown into water twice. biangz..dame shag la.

jordan,shah,dk. joey n me..joined the adventure race. we went thru 3 rounds of obstacles man..during the process, the swimming part was the most jia lat one. But it was very heart warming to see you whole team cheering for u on shore man. Really touched! After every swim...dragon boat..gotta run a distance. is dame xiong la. jordan and the rest encouraged each other along..to complete the race as a whole. you know that you are not alone man. Nice. Good to see that we support each other in such time..adn we finally finished it as second. and we got $300 voucher. DEcided to treat the whole team to dinner as our first official outing. After our 5 days of registration as a official team of smu...pretty power lo. hehe. cool!

During the event itself, our efficiency is great...chop chop finish thgs we needa do man. Nobody complained lo. just do it man. finish fast fast..then can go home. we end of by our last cheer..which made our presence so known in public man. haha. people who came for fun race..also had fun too. Cool! we just enjoyed being in the presence of one another. that's very good to begin with man.

I started the ball rolling of giving acknowledgement to team..say my thank u. haha. ya so eci right..but anyway is a way of showing appreciation. then it started the chain of heart warming emails to thank each other. Nice nice. yup..i love my team!!!:) during this short stint, my friendship with teck wee also blossomed into something deeper. great! another potential good friend! hehe. Cool! he's like a big brother man...will look after you one. steady la. then can talk cock sing song with him also. That's why when both of us combine..we are really ultimate. can make the fun of nothing into somethg dame hilarious. lol.

yes..i;m defintely enjoying every moment. Having lots of fun! :) Glad i didn;t continue to slack in SMU and got my butt moving. cool!

busy busy weekend

2005-10-02T02:49:00.000+08:00

yes sea carnival is later..gonna go do sai kang job. had my recce trip at raffles marina. So dame far la. Quite a number of people came down to help out. Teck wee gave me face man..upon my request, came to help out. Steady! He's really one funny guy man..laughed throughout the trip and had war of words with him. I met my match man. The rest of guys also joined him in shooting me..KNS. think my face got write.."pls bully me" whatever la. just for laughs la..we had our share of team bonding session while waiting for the boats. Was a tiring day. lots of waiting..but glad we made use to chat..yes normal army stuff but they made the effort to include the ladies la. hehe. Fun man! Apparently my team event has helpers to help out in the event lo...hmm...good that they all came. :) Nice. Got cold joke..watch out...

one day, a handsome rabbit bumped into fast running tortise. handsome rabbit asked to race with fast running tortise. Guess who won??? Any la...the correct answer is fast running tortise. WHY??? Cos it is a fast running tortise. LAME sia!
part 2...ready...
next day, handsome rabbit bumped into wearing shades tortise and asked for a race. Guess who won this time???
drums roll.....
......
is the wearing shades tortise!!!
WHY???
Cos he wear shades??? NOOooooo.....
Becos WHEN HE TAKE DOWN HIS SHADES, *tadah* is ACTUALLY FAST RUNNING TORTISE!

faintz...contributed by ZHUI! LAme la..but quite entertaining la. lol.

yup found a handful of ktv kakis also..yeah..mid term cheong ktv session with them man. MAKE IT HAPPEN. Everything all push to mid term break as if we got very long break right. Just one week only lo..alamakzz..

oh yah..had our smu run about. never win la...my first team got 4th lo. no cash prize..but anyway, talked quite a lot to mr audy. haha. he dame crappy lo. see no out man. he said he marie france spokesman. alamakz..didnt expect such lame stuff to come out from him. Then he drove his motorbike that day. And gave me a ride to my tuition place. we live near each other man...but anyway that's my official MAIDEN ride. Got a crash course from him..lol. How to put on helmet..cos my head big mah. so i asked whether can fit in not?! then he said..can fit ur big head la...wah raoz...for me to say mah. si kin nah! luckily is a safe ride. enough of a thrill. but he nice nice la..to slow down his speed. haha. must learn to trust him man thru'out the ride. haha. i shall have that as my first n last experience on bike. feel insecure riding bike man. alamakz..so vulnerable man. *scaredscared

okok..Morning!

pHew...

2005-09-27T23:40:00.000+08:00

woWww..finished my chinese presentation. been practising the night before to get that fluecy of speech man. Good thing is that i managed to pull it off man. prof commented i was fluent and natural leh..wauu..hit ceiling liao. lol. After that rolled home..this is the first time after so long..i managed to go home in the day! Came home n sleep...now i'm dame energetic. gotta study for tml test. hehe.

Alrighty..niteZ!

sweet.

2005-09-27T10:52:00.000+08:00

woohoo...had my video interview yesterday. Prepared make up and stuff took me about an hr..faintz. there were 2 questions asked about china..yup..n n my way down met shaun! then started bitching to him abt the interview and stuff...then he started to walk quite quickly or rather thats how he walked..but anyway i waas on heels. alamakzz...plus i short legs mah..faintz. so not thoughful lo. haha. he said i was carrying a bomb around cos of my huge laptop. Wau..then he nicce la..helped me carry to kopitiam. haha.

Then mayb cos i put on my specs n make up,,then my frds dont recognise me lo...dame sad la. but at the same time i can walked past a few without saying hi..n they also dunno. hehe. my se group said i look like "Miss tan" from chen ren zhai chi...faintz. haha. keep calling me teacher. haha.

Anyway...just happened that shaun n i were in the lib and we went for dinner. this time round he didn;t eat anythg..just a drink. haha. he volunterily helped me carry my bomb again. wow...nice nice! think he quite a good catch la..plus he sings well!!!lol. my ktv kaki..but now no time to go ktv liao..sigh. quite sickening la cos he kept reminding me of a horrible memory i had during my term 1. N he knoew about that incident cos he was there too. he and zaky good frds la..don;t know why they like to remind me..keep saying my ex and old love. What the hell! the person mentioned ..we're in the same class again! faintz..but now we like dunno each other like that. quite odd. but well...really cannot click la. so that's that. anyway, even tho shaun n i not in the same class anymore but good that we still keep in contact la n meet for meals. yeppy! speak of the devil...

alrighty..completed!hehea

so loving that...

2005-09-25T22:49:00.000+08:00

challenging road ahead ..now...

2005-09-20T10:54:00.000+08:00

been staying back in school till late for projects..now as if i only got one project_software engineering. Meeting up with the girls' group so often to discuss about it. Had my meals over meetings. Dame sad la. Yesterday, pulled myself out of meeting, just to have a proper 1.5hrs of lunch with rou. Had a hearty talk with her and took her to tour at smu campus. Nice!!! She gonna be away for a yr to wharton sch there for internship n studies. So glad for her... yeahh..we're going global! Cool!

Then went back for SE meeting and planned our schedule for project delivery. It seems like my mid term break is gone...working on SE project. But i still have other projects on hand. This is so disgusting! arghh...We were saying to camp over at someone's house for our project. biangz..

I'm so looking forward to my end of yr trip!!!...take me away from this place. yes...i bring this upon myself to take on so much stuff. ahhhh...... Need to get my work done before is due man. If not i'll die cham cham..*takes a deep breath! Time passes so quickly man..projects, trainings,work...especially love training with my team man. Only time to destressSSs..hehe..yes commitee is up. from 6 to 10 ppl..helping out to build the team. Coming up is the smu sea carnival...woshhh...squeezing time out.

that's all for updates at visitor centre of SMU.

Cheers

mind over body

2005-09-16T01:06:00.000+08:00

hey...
Had a sharing session with team. Now we all know each others' expectations of the team. Seems like all of us looking for that team spirit and bonding. After which we went for our training, it was pretty much a killer. Did 3 sets of sprint..2 rounds at Sch of Accountancy blk. My body was so heavy..the more i pushed the more i fell back...pushing thru my 2 rounds. I looked forward to the short little breaks. What's with me that i can't maintain a comfortable pacing...gee...stamina is what i'm lacking now. I survived the sprints & my head became heavy..yes..still conscious. There i was ..i saw my team mates fighting with me too. I have a team with me. Great. Encouragement and support for one another. At one moment..i was numbed. Where's my legs? gee... Towards the end, waileng had cramp on her calf. She collapsed. the ladies team went over to massage her leg...get her to relax...was pretty much a heartwarming scene. Everyone was holding her hands..diverting her attention..massaging..yup. sound exaggerating..is just cramp. we had fun out of it. Is as if she was going thru labour and had 6 mid wives there with her. Was quite a blessing in disguise. Kinda bring us closer... 7 girls turned up. the rest fallen ill. one of them might be quiting. hmm...just nice i have one full girls' boat, with one female drummer. Nice. Gonna create team bonding sessions for ladies after training..get them completed with how they felt about the training. Again..supporting each other. Without that, we wont pull this thru. It was pretty good gathering after training. What came out of that...people threw in suggestions to improve our own stamina..go for runs together..join smu events as a team. Cheers to our first ladies team bonding session! Cool!

I have a common class with my dragon boat team mate cum class mate for networking class. Audy. He got pretty dao face la..so we kinda made a pact that he gonna smile to me whenever he sees me! He kept his promise..saw me in class. Then he specially turned his head to SMILE at me! it was hilarious man!

The project groups i'm in..i pretty much enjoy their company la. SE- girls power. They called me Chuck! whatever! haha. Soc- also girls power. 3 xclassmates. cool! This term is more of getting more gfs...yeppY!

alrighty nightz!

Fun.Fun.Fun

2005-09-13T11:29:00.000+08:00

Hey..
Graduated from AHOP! yeppy!
Break current structure to hold greater capacity.
Met my smu juniors and went supper with them.
Kinda hit it off. One of them form NYJC..no wonder i found him so familiar.
Nice.
Met a lot of new people..so fun!hehe.
One interesting fellow a drummer. Very steady one...
Very cheena speaking one. lol.
He learnt that i taught chinese tuition and he also lo.
Pretty impressed with his idoms stories.
I call him idiom dispenser! Fun!
The dragon ladies in my team...very enthu people.
Despite their tiredness, they still pressed on.
Considering is just the first few water training...in terms of coordination is considered not bad.
yea...nice people there too. Great to have people embarking this journey with me!
Standing for Commitment, Growth, Support!
yes..that's how i'm gonna lead them.
Is amazing to see myself running in a energised mode for a yr plus ever since TCC.
People asked me how come i always so enthu and stuff...haha. Everyday is so full of life!
*sing* I'm loving it..craving more for you..lol.
alrighty...off for class!
Cheers

AHOP

2005-09-06T01:25:00.000+08:00

Now finally i decided to talk about that!
So much of the escapism..running away...kenna tenkan big time from kelvin!
I was wounded with all the arrows he shot at me.
Or rather i shot at myself. heh.
Last 6 sessions were ....yucky. in the sense that i want to avoid going.
But after all the hum tum...this week was pretty much a breeze.
Cos creating results man. haha.
Realisations.... - transition stage
Let it go man. Just do it la! WTH!
wOw!
Will share during the last session.
Making things possible rather than let it be.
How exciting life is. Amazing.
Nothing everything.
Great! Keep going!!!
:)

School started!

2005-09-05T03:42:00.000+08:00

Still very much awake at this timing!
Updates...
Clear quite a bit of space here and there.
Greater capacity to take on more stuff.
Fun!
Had my first official dragon boat training with team SMU.
Fun!
9 girls turned up. 15 boys.
Current number of girls is 10.
Doing what it takes to keep them in this team.
Enroll more also. Keep the numbers coming.
Anyway, it was a good start for the begineers.
Great spirits there! :)
Muscle aching..butt hurts man. But SHOIK aha!
Good work out mah!
Also get to know more people..interact with them.
Was thinking where I am for the past one yr in SMU man?!
Is like finally i came out of my shell. haha.
Never too late la...

Projects came flooding in as usual.
Still under control. :)
Most of my time taken up for meetings/lesson/training/work.
Fun keeping myself busy. heh.

Planned to extend my stay in HK at the end of yr.
Budget living.
High spending. haha.
I want to visit DisneyWorld..for the experience.
Exciting man! Got another 3 more months to earn the sum of money.
* ah neo poh hor..bless me with good luck. Even when i walk along the streets..
money drops from the sky. Pls shower me with your love! haha.

alright..energy running low. time to recharge!

Nitez!

last night...

2005-08-27T00:41:00.000+08:00

Huixian is flying to shanghai soon.
Gonna have our last gathering before we part.
Met up with the ladies for sushi 'buffet'.
Lots of fun.
Shai and I busy eating raw stuff while the others ate cooked stuff. bOoo!
Laughter.
Updating of each other's life.
Sharing of a common period of our lives- JC
How we get to know each other.
Chinese speaking vs English-speaking.
Rowdy vs 'Demure'
Loud vs 'SOFT'
At the end of the day, the english speaking ones are not any better la. lol
Our training.
oh yah..share with ya. One of huixian's writing.

Rowing relentlessly for a year plus
It's been a tremendously eventful year
With this team I feel I've grown
Together, there's nothing to fear

We've gone through so much
Weathering all storms, riding all waters
Fought on despite circumstances
Togther, nothing falters

Many memories we will take with us
The zoo, the balls, jokes laugh ha, Talentime,
Treasure hunt, Urban quest, Races, Cross Country,
Chalets...

Not forgetting ban mian, chicken chops, V8, kaya toasts,
sugar cane, chinchow, subway sandwiches,
Then there's laoshi's biscuits that kept us going
Even when we had stitches

Memories that I will keep for the rest of my life.
Brilliant team to be in..grown together. Through each of them,
I learnt something from them. Definitely expands my world.
Each of them is talented in music...supporting one another in
performances. Cool!

Will there be tears later? I wonder. I wish hx all the best!

Cheers....till next time.

A ray of hope...

2005-08-23T01:19:00.000+08:00

Remember i mentioned abt my fav uncle's wife who has cancer...Report was out. Terminal stage. Visited her yesterday. She's in bad shape. Can't get off the bed. Nurse was having a hard time pulling out some substance from her body, with wired thgy. All i heard was her groaning...in agony. gee...After that, i approached her to see what i can do for her. she was crying...i took tissue to wipe away her tears, hold her hand. Listened to her. She has given up hope....I can't console her with words like...i understand your pain. That's total bullshit. Nobody ever can except self. I could only relate to my dad's experience. How he fought with his last ounce of strength. Courage. She did quite a bit of sharing with me, dwelling on her pain & how she made life difficult for others. Might as well die. To die without giving a fight? Well, is easier said than done...Cancer is causing one to die slowly..where it spreads. Attitude might really help to allevate the condition. My uncle is also falling apart now..gee..used up a lot of energy when taking care of sick patient. walked that path too...i know how it feels like. Pains one heart to look at your loved one suffers. And you wish that the one who is suffering is you. When you see your loved one cries, your heart breaks. When you see your loved one throw temper..u learn to tolerate and be understanding. Both parties are going through a different level of pain actually. yup..my uncle, mum and i were saying " why do good people get to leave this world early and notorious ppl live longer?" It doesn't make sense. Probably should do some bad stuff huh! gEE..what is this world coming to?!

yup..talk about things that brighten up a little. Guess what...Bumped into the cute yr 4 senior in the library today. He looked so much like my another senior. haha. But anyway, had a little conversation with him. yeppy. Cute cute..*hope he not gay!* lol. gonna have training this sat..hope he can make it. hehehehehe...*evil grinz Feel so much like JC sia..admiring senior..orhhh...lol. Kinda fun.

inspired!

2005-08-20T00:17:00.000+08:00

Joseph:
Respect and inspiration.
Living TCC in him.
His training included what he gotten out of TCC.
Brilliant.
Brought down to a level such that people got it.
My session with him has helped me to crystalise on thgs i didnt get it.
Profound.
Seems like i get it..i don't.
The level we're at are different.
I'm still climbing.
Glad he's patient to expose me to that.
...............................................................................................................................

Riding the waves soon...

2005-08-18T23:17:00.000+08:00

wOohOo...just came back from my first dragonboat land training.
About 21 people came.
6 girls...
They are not bad actually..can take the light training.
Good start. :)
Went around to pick up girls and boys..lol
yah..favourite activity!
Some familiar faces...
One of them was my TA for BGS. yup..we bitched about the prof!haha.
Another guy used to ask me to 'pose' for a picture and interview me on...what i thought abt the city campus. haha. He said is coming up ...omg... if the picture is taken nicely like..my face seems smaller or what, i'll post it here. haha.

Oh there's this very senior senior..he's yr 4. Quite not bad looking one eh..pretty attractive la. Quite macho one. hehe. hao man-looking aha!!!haha. cos i handle admin matters of the team, so he came to me to settle.
"you are joan.."
"yah"
...lol. *meltmelt. lol. ultra DMMM!
"Are you coming for the next training?"
"Yes"
oh hope he really comes la!haha. okie u must be thinking i 'flower-eating'. Aiyah..find some entertainment in school mah. heh.

Anyway, guess what's my next question after i finished my conversation with him?
drums roll.........
...........................
IS HE GAY???
...........................
hahaha....if he is, let's just forget about it. Be friends!!! People who like to hang out with gays, are called fat hags apparently. heh.

Well, most of them feedback they will be back for next training. Sometimes people humour you..after all, action speaks louder than words. Let's see!

It's quite a social thgy to do when people say thgs like.."oh yah..see ya." "we should meet up soon"...whatever...why say thgs when you don't mean it? when you dont intend to meet...okie is like slapping myself on the face too. Cos i sometimes do that too...largely on my casual frds. What do i mean by casual? Hi bye type. Well..but that where the friendship begins. Again, takes two parties to grow and maintain it. If not, byebye....heh

If you happen to be my good friends, I wil confirm gurantee plus chop ask you out one...girl/boy wont let go one. lol. Perference for a small group outing or just one to one. Both parties interested to in each other lives. Well that's my way of keeping people i cherish in my life that's all. Basic trust needs to be in a friendship...Junwei and I always have faith in each other...Someone who popped into my life during my crisis moment. Book him for life liao...lol.
hmm..should come up with a contract "friendship for life", propose to my good friends?!lol. Lame la..

I was chatting with my good friend, Adrian. But seems like we're drifting apart. He was hearing me speak about my life now. And asked why am i pushing myself so hard??? hmm...just wanna know what's my range that's all. How high i can fly..how low i can survive. Is very challenging..and amazing cos is like seeing another side of yourself unfolding itself. Probably that's how i got addicted to find out more. yup.

even more exciting when school starts.

get ready to see how i begin to breakdown....breakthrough....bOoo..part of growth isn't it?

Appreciate if you can encourage me when you see that happening!!! heh heh.

Cheers!

yEppY!

2005-08-17T15:12:00.000+08:00

Did a little catch up with my good buddies_Junwei & Jingwen.
Introduced them e on the job i got, looks like we gonna work together soon. Exciting!
Haven't met up with him since brought him down for preview & that time i lost my voice. So couldn't talk that day. He laughed at me la..Rascal! SKN! Oh that was the day where i met Eric too. haha. Anyway gonna meet up this friday with junwei. Great! He's one of my 2 GOOD irc friends whom i still keep in contact. Met in nyjc irc channel..happened to know each other frds..met up in school. My shifu in the game of pool! Brilliant guy!

Jingwen...from my orientation group back in JC. haha. we are always reminded of the silly and stupid cheers with stupid actions that made us laugh our heads off. Fun fun..She's the only one whom i keep in contact, amongst others. We have been trying to get into same class/activity together but fate always plays joke on us. Kept us separated. At least we managed to get into the same uni. heh. Our friendship is pretty special..at some point of time, it is as if we have forgotten the existence of each other as we moved into separate ways. Then a message or phone call always bring us back together and share with each other what we've been up to. and..boom...we're off to do other stuff. haha. nice pattern observed. We're still close prob due to the foundation that we built.

Realised is also a habit of mine to bring people i love into the jobs..be it same company/department or what..It somehow brings the kinship/friendship to the next level. Back in standard chartered bank, my sis & cousin worked togther. ( never reveal the relationship unnecessarily.heh) my internship...my sis & got another cousin working at a different department(nobody knows our relationship except my sis.haha.) Never really talk to him in the past..tho our mothers are very close. yup..good now relationship improved. Nice. by the way, he's a jukebox. heh heh. :p *ai ni* lol

Also met up with yenny..supposed to have turtle soup lunch outing today but she was called back to work. sigh...Might go jogging with her later. Lunch outing tml..ohoh..we got the job as duty manager in sch lib. yeaa..we're working together. Plus we have the same module. One thing good about working with people u know..cos they already know your pattern. So when it comes to work...dont have to explain much lo. Yen very efficient one..we chop chop finish our project. Steady!

While i meet up with yen, bumped into Shawn. how we met..is interesting lo. Cos we were at the leadership camp in uni. i was waiting for my toilet so i came out to wait. He came out of the gents..and asked if i wanted to use the gents instead since there's nobody. so he helped me jia-ga the door. We happened to be in the same faculty and found out that we both love to sing. KTV kakis. Friday might be having one..hope i can make it la.:p He sang very well one...jap song..wau heart melts man. haha.. DMMM @ work. heh heh.

Had a late conversation with Jervon..he finished reading the two books i introduced him. "Tuesdays with Morrie" - author did his final thesis with the dying prof. their conversations revloved on Money, Death, Family, The world we live in....one sentence that alwaz remember is "When you learn to die, that's when you learn to live" Sad huh..people always wait till nearing their death, then they finally understood what they want in their lives. prob died with regrets...or manage to come to terms with them?! Lots to ponder & insights to be gained.

& "The Five People You Meet In Heaven"...these five people happened to b one critical point of your life or you being a critical point of their lives. these five people have something to teach..Whether you realise it or not, u might b impacting someone's life. Being part of one's journey. People whom u thought is not a critical part of your life..might happen to be one actually without you realising that. Probably sometimes, we're too engrossed in the journey ahead of us and neglected or choose not to care abt other person.

See life unfolds in front of you...

Fun evening

2005-08-14T01:22:00.000+08:00

@ Marina Carnival with Sam, Huixian and Yulin
Fun with their company.
@ Ktv
Fun with trying out songs like,

"A Whole New World" - Aladin
I watched that tape for many times during my childhood. Remember ABU the monkey?! One of the first few cartoon movie i guess.
"Beauty & the Beast"
Sang this song during my primary school performance. Certainly brought back some memories.

Dedicated a song to Huixian who will be leaving for Shanghai on 27th August. She will be completing her tertiary education there.

"Friends"

Words:deborah d. smith
Music: michael w. smith

Packing up the dreams God planted
In the fertile soil of you
Can’t believe the hopes he’s granted
Means a chapter in your life is through
But we’ll keep you close as always
It won’t even seem you’ve gone’
cause our hearts in big and small ways
Will keep the love that keeps us strong

And friends are friends forever
If the lord’s the lord of them
And a friend will not say never’
cause the welcome will not end
Though it’s hard to let you go
In the father’s hands we know
That a lifetime’s not too long to live as friends.
With the faith and love god’s given
Springing from the hope we know
We will pray the joy you’ll live in
Is the strength that now you show
But we’ll keep you close as always
It won’t even seem you’ve gone’
cause our hearts in big and small ways
Will keep the love that keeps us strong
...........................................................................................

First heard this song at my sis farewell party with her sec four friends.
Yup as i sang the song, a bit of sadness got into me.
Won't be seeing her for a real long time.
Well, there's the technology to help us to keep in contact.
After three years of friendship, probably this period of time is when i start getting close to her.

21 Aug Outing with the ladies
23 Aug Outing with the ladies
27 Aug Farewell for the lady
.............................................................................................

Sunflower

2005-08-13T01:08:00.000+08:00

May these flowers brighten up the blog!

Pretty little flower with nice packaging in the beginning.

What will it be like when it drys up?

Will it still look pretty?

Or is just a matter of perspective...depends on how you look at it i guess.

How about a closer look?

Alrighty...:)

What a deep conversation!

2005-08-12T00:40:00.000+08:00

Met up with Adrian, Joseph, Betsy just now for our meeting.
Wow..opened up a lot.
Joseph and Adrian were coaching Betsy.
Being an observer.
Saw how Betsy reacted/responded.
WOW...
Gained insights.
Crystalised my learning by sharing as an observer.
Superb man.
This bunch of people really let me learnt.
Clarity.
An admiration for Joseph...
Very wise man.
In a higher level.
Betsy gave me a lift home.
Had more sharing.
Saw a different side of her.
Broke my perception of her.
Topic on passion.
How do you know that is your passion?
How do you create passion?
Being in the experience is different from seeing others experiencing it.
She claimed that can't learn much from her,
But truth is,
I did.
Looking forward to having more sessions with them.

Watch this space!
Growth!
Excitement.

When I know nothing at all, that's when i gain everything. :)

Fantastic night!

2005-08-10T23:33:00.000+08:00

Finally met up with Jervon!
Gotten me a Sunflower.
Suits my sunshine personality huh! heh
Sweet.
Unexpected.
How should i hold the bouquet of flowers?!
Seems weird for me to hold it.
Anyway, enjoy our conversations.
Nice.

Bumped into Yenny and Hendri..been sometime since i last met her.
Me: how's my hair??!
Yen: Thought you are maintaining a sweet image?! Now more funky!
Nice...we gonna have a module together next term! Yeppy!

Alrighty..back to my homework.
Pushhhhhh it through!
Gambattei nei!

Cheers!

Photos!!!!

2005-08-10T00:31:00.000+08:00

Finally i can add photos to my blog...cheers!

@ XM on National day
My new hairstyle with mummy!

My last day @ XM...

Raymond,SQ, Joreen,me, Vicki

Last day to be busy @ work...

*should i look @ camera?heh

Last lunch..heh

My boss_Joyce & me!

@ XM_away day
Christine & Joan
*sings...wo men liang hua er..cai hong li..

cai hong li..lol

Beautiful

2005-08-09T22:47:00.000+08:00

Saw fireworks.
One word.
WOW!

Tomorrow evening might have an outing with Jervon. He's my friend whom i knew from IRC when we were sec 4. Constant updates on each others' lives. Nice. After 4 years, we are finally meeting! How exciting! Let me see..good friends whom i knew from IRC down with 2- Ken and Jervon.

Alrighty...

powerful...

2005-08-06T23:01:00.000+08:00

Art of High Performance:
10am to 7pm.
8 weeks programme but delivered in 5 weeks.
WOW!
Kelvin led.
Energy high.
Introduction to equations.
Simple yet complex.
Consciousness.
Confrontation.
Work, work & lots of work on self.
Sleepiness. Tiredness. Toilet breaks.
Jokes.
Fun.
Laughter.
Met new people- Joseph & Jianming.
Excitement.
Overwhelmed.
Good stuff.
Get things sort out in my life- how i do the way i do things. categorisation.
Clarity.
Energy running low.
Gonna work on report now.

free

2005-08-05T23:03:00.000+08:00

today is the last day of my comms workshop. yeppi!
finished my presentation.
had my new hairdo.
love my new look now!
oh got myself 2 NEW friends_ Ronny and Robin
Ronny sat beside me.
my ultimate bus directory.Cool!
Robin..i already knew him through SIS orientation but didnt talk much. Hey..he used to be my course mate but also never talk much.
went to check out the library with them.
is so dame huge la.
okok sua gu at work now.
is really very superb lo..spacious,nice scenery...
helped robin with his event stuff.
can do until wanna sleep lo.
there's a whole list of freshies names.
Ronny and I almost fell asleep.
as i was doing it,
it reminded me of my scb days when adrinaA and gang did our bingo game.
we had to check thru the list of platinum cardholders.
we managed to have fun with it on a christmas eve day.
nice.
had my lappie fixed.
finally can use my own network.
don't need to 'steal' other people one liao.
yeppy!

oh yah..Alex,CW and I were mass chatting on how we think of each other!
Alex: Charming, charismatic, youthful
CW: Humourous, SNAG as he claims to be, nice
Fun.

Genting.

2005-07-30T13:37:00.000+08:00

@ genting now.
had fun with mum & bro.
bro began to share with me more of his world.
good!

Something happened just now...
My bro was sitting beside me..surfing net.
As i turned to look at him, he actually dozed off!
I woke him up...cos he's wasting $$$ mah. haha.
But he continued to sleep.
Nodded his head...several times.
Suddenly,
somebody kicked the keyboard thgy...
I followed the noise...
To my surprise,
Is my bro!!!
Biangzz...MALU la... Don't know what he dreaming of..so violent.
Giggle giggle...haha. i burst out laughing AT him!haha. yah but i still love him!
He's embarrassed. lol

Ok.
As i'm writing this,
*see from corner of eyes..
Someone is peeking at what i'm writing. haha.
SKN!
.....................................
Anyway, it seems like i'm attracting 'blacks' to me.
Hmm..an indian approached me yesterday.
Second time in a week.
What attracted them?
Cos i'm cheena-fied looking. Even thought i'm a china lady. *pengz
Unique ...cos I'm rounder and chubbier!
What do they want?
But one thing to learn from them...
How they create their conversations.
Appeal to my 'ego'...
....................................
Well that's that.

What an experience...

2005-07-26T23:04:00.000+08:00

OMG....

An African actually approached me on the streets. I'm flattered. What an experience! Cool!
He has good picking up skills man. Very bold indeed. Impressed.

Gonna say bye bye to my long hair. Aim to get a 'revamp' by next week. Well, is time for a change again! New image when school starts. Let's go for a shorter hair cut huh! Easier to manage. Cooler. Exciting! Wonder how that will turn out man.

Everyday is so sweet. Nice. :)

Sweet moments...

2005-07-26T09:49:00.000+08:00

So sweet…

Mum always cuts fruits and brew liang cha for us to drink. My siblings really dislike to drink that cos is so……..yuckyy. But is good for health and mum made it. So bo bian..gotta drink. Bro asked me to drink finish. *fainted! Cos the cup is so huge..so much. I got him to play ba xian guo hai and ji gu bah with me, then loser will drink a sip. We had fun! So funny! Was totally soaked in that moment to experience a past that we shared and we are still sharing. yeppy!

He’s my ultimate play mate back in my childhood! He used to be a BALL. I could go around him 3 times when I’m a small girl. And when I touched his stomach, I will bounce back! Haha. When we worked at my dad’s shop, we will quietly sneak out. He’ll bring me to playground and push the swing for me. Sometimes when he has money, he will buy ice-cream for me to eat. I suspect he ‘stole’ from dad. Haha. But anyway, whenever we’re together, something bound to happen. The unforgettable experience when he brought me on cycling trip/s. think there’s only one! Cos as he cycled down the long and pretty steep slope, he lost control of his bike. I flew off and had scratches on my face. He was worried sick cos my dad would definitely beat him up if anything happens to me. Yup I was then the ‘spoilt brat’. He begged me not to cry or what to avoid beating from dad and got me to hide under his smelly shirt! Well, he was fat you see..so there wasn’t much breathing space left for me. I was sharing space with his belly. Haha. My parents asked what was I doing under his shirt?! As usual, my bro could get off at that moment and probably pay the price later. *evil grinz

I still remember this incident vividly. Very excited on our trip to Genting! He offered to go theme park with me. Cool! Though I did not intend to visit the theme park..since he’s interested to go with me, why not? The last time was when I’m 6-7 years old bah..where we were at Haw Par Villa, playing the water ‘car’. That was so longgggg ago!

I realized my bro and I have similar taste, symptoms and sport. He was asking me when he die, what food should I prepare for him? I got them correctly. Shui jiao/guo tie/popiah/prawns. Ohhh..he also started dragon boating. I’m glad he enjoyed it! I also introduced the sport to my sister. When is my mummy’s turn?!haha. Cool! Yup..must live up to my dragon lady name, promote the sport!:)

I tend to pay particular attention to whatever little thing my bro does for me, I don’t expect him to do them. No expectations from how other should treat you, no disappointments lo!

Do to others what you would want them to do to you!

Cheers!

2005-07-24T12:02:00.000+08:00

Went to KY's bday party, played with my niece_xuanxuan. gEee..she's soooo cUTe!!! She has a newborn brother. So CHUBBY! Can't help but to pinch his chubby cheeks..and fleshy body. hahaa..I'm so attracted to kids. Guess is the innocence and simplicity in them. Implying that i'm not? Or maybe i'm just like them. heh heh. Return to innocence. Cool! I played memory game with xuan xuan and i was very lucky. the 2 cards i picked randomly happened to be in pair. Not once but several times consecutively. Is quite...hmm..nvm. haha. Just a game. I was photographer for the day, helping my cousin to take photos with his friends. haha.

Was pretty tired yesterday cos i woke up since 5am to work till late afternoon man. It was pretty manual work..carried cartons of drinks and fruits. saw the corporate community played their netball competition. Some displayed sportsmanship..some did not. Well, is just a friendly match after all. Some people came with the attitude "i'm out to win!"..Sportsmanship. Whether you win or lose, is important for one to display that. To flare up cos the umpires did not umpire properly or what, whether you like it or not, they have the final say in the game. In any sport, there will be some form of unfairness, whether you like it or not. Just play around with what's there then. most importantly i feel, just do your part. The rest that is beyond your control, just make the best out of it then.

2005-07-22T22:38:00.000+08:00

Deep in thoughts..

Zhui called me regarding the running of post in Sports Union. He recommended me to be in there to fight for dragon boat. If I heard correctly, is for the post of president. If I were to take up that role, I definitely can forget about rowing dragon boat. My passion. I have more or less planned out how I wanted this dragon boat team to be stretch and grow. Gee..For Sports Union, is taking up bigger responsibility, very challenging indeed. Very attractive..tho’ I’m not sure if I have the capacity to handle all that is coming or not. Can only answer when I take it on. In terms of how much I can grow from dragon boat, it will be pretty safe, slow and steady. Cos I’m very comfortable with db. As for Sports Union, to organize sports event/sports camp for school. I remembered I complained about the Sports camp I went. How disorganized it was. I know is a very good opportunity..well things are not fixed yet. So let’s see how it goes. Meanwhile get dragon boat team SMU started!!!

met up with strong today. had a great chat with him. haven met him for one yr plus liao. haha. cool! Inviting him down to CCI. yup!

niteZz..

2005-07-21T16:35:00.000+08:00

Unintentional move.

Was listening to my frd's life story. I was keen to listen but he somehow was affected by the issues. Every family has its own story to tell. Some fortunate ones have very smooth sailing journey. As for 'unfortunate' ones, the road ahead is always full of obstacles and challenges somehow. Notice i used 'unfortunate'. Not that unfortunate as it seems to be. cos at the end of the day, one is taught to grow up. Laying the foundation for future. Things happen for a reason. Since at times we cant control what is beyond us, then make the best of the situation to be in favour of you.

This is what i gotten over the years. Now that things got settled down. I'm glad i've been thru that journey. this sound like bullshit to you? Maybe huh. During the period when u experience all the shit, u really feel like shit. I wish i could runaway. moments when i feel numbed towards everything. Heck heck heck..just live my own life. Cant be bothered..but somewhere deep down i do care. but once i got pass that phase, i'm glad i went through that form of training. Reality bites.

jia you bah!

lighten things up..there's response from SMU community regarding dragonboat! yeppy! saw a few girls' names! More girls join more girls join me in this sport!!! what i like about team sport is the team unity and bonding i shared with my ny girls. how we fought for our medals..how we encourage ourselves to improve together...there was one race i never ever gonna forget, which i told many people about it.

We were racing with NJC, TPJC, RJC..cant remember what's another one. NY boat was amongst the last in the beginning of race...slowly we proceed to 4th..3rd...4th..3rd...then during the last 100m..never in my life saw my girls' sha qi..so aggressive, so much fire and desire to win together. The whole boat was like flying man..it was coming fierce. We poped out of nowhere and stroke by stroke...we won silver. The fighting spirit was superb!

Quite lucky actually. half of my girls' boat is year 1. faintz..cos other sch got year 2 full boat man. so pretty at disadvantage. Then suay suay one of them kena tennis elbow..cannot row. Faint. then yulin kena dengue fever..very long nv come train liao. After the race, she just lie there n we rowed her back. haha. wonderful experience!

Hopefully can create this type of bonding and feeling for SMU team.

cheers!

2005-07-20T10:30:00.000+08:00

UB in the making!

Ultimate Blogger..gonna blog everyday. that's cos i pretty free.
ok task for tml...gonna interact more with those i have bad vibes. Well, i guess just need to find the click between each other. I'm just being lazy to make more effort to find out. Make it an assignment for myself then.:P

Saw this Singing Performance Course email. Is appealing to me. Gee...time and money are my considerations. There's so much i wanna do, yet time and money holding me back.

first thing first is to get dragonboat team up in smu..get things started. Gonna be in there for abt 1 yr plus. Then move on to non-sports activity like theatre work and singing. Gee..been holding back since jc, involved in sports all these time. Time for a change..to follow other passion too. dame..by the time i go into other passion will be when i'm year 3. still got abt half year to play with my other passion. no worries...stay present!

going to genting on 29th july i think..with mum & bro & mayb cousin. Good that bro is coming along.hope he shares his world with me...:) I'll most likely do a 'revamp' on myself. Is time...for a change again!haha. School is starting. Next term image shall be "sporty". haha. But then hor..is what i've been having during jcs. hmm..shall keep in view. I must be dame free to think of all such...

Yah i'm still having attachment. one more week plus...Pretty enjoy my stay here. Very relaxing environment yet professional. Allows me to take on projects..be part of it. Learnt a whole great deal on how the company's structure and biz process about. Cool.

This saturday i'm gonna be a sports coordinator for NETBALL! Cool. Loves watching people play...reminded me of my training time. Better dont end up watching ppl play and forget abt my duties. heh heh.

2005-07-19T15:14:00.000+08:00

Rainy day.
Cold weather.
Bored.
Feel like complaining....
i dont know....
Staring blankly on screen.
*let out a deep sigh....................
Sleep.
Just wanna sleep...
Need a long rest b4 school starts again.
Time to get my ass moving.
Waste no more time.
What m i thinking?
How am i gonna juggle those that are coming?
Will i give myself enough space..?
Take and take..can cope not?
My mentality is take first..will learn to cope along the way..

2005-07-18T10:38:00.000+08:00

Had a talk with mum on some issues. Managed to use some coaching style to listen in to her world that she live. Now I understand better how mentality sets her do the thgs she did. Managed to get her to realize some of her stuff she’s thinking. After tt, had a siblings’ conference..to update the rest of what I’ve gotten. All of us have taken a role to play in my mum’s crisis, which I felt is great we had a serious discussion over this and had a heart-to-heart talk. Taken responsibility to how we wanna play our role to assist mum during this period of her time. Nice to see us working together. :)

Visited my favourite uncle's wife yesterday. His wife has cancer..bladder one. hmm..very serious. now waiting for report. This fav uncle is a very nice man who dotes on me alot. Remember he used to drove to my workplace to let me eat his wanton mee with roast duck drumstick! Is filled with love..heh. Very touched! I enjoy my conversations with him and we talk abt life. I feel connected to him tho he's quite a 'distant' uncle. Is a pity that he doesnt has any children...now he stopped his biz just to take care of his sickly wife. the vow that they took...he is doing his part for the person he loves now. I dont know how much time his wife has...i really hope things would turn out well. miracle happens..:) Is not easy taking care of a sick person..definitely pains one's heart to see one's love one has to go through the pain and torture. I bet he defintely wish he could bear the pain his wife has to go thru...All i can do now..is visit the couple more often, call them..show support as they go thru this crisis. I understand this type of encouragement and support do help them in one way or another...at least let them know you care.

Sometimes when such diseases hit you, you cant run away but to face it with courage. I strongly encourage healthy lifestyle..no smoking, exercise regularly..take care the body of yours so that you can live your life the way you want. Money can never earn finish..no matter how hard you chase, guess what, you are most likely using that money to pay ur future medical fees. When you come across with death or see how others face death, it totally change your perspective towards how u wanna live your life.

If this is your last day on Earth, what would you do?

2005-07-17T21:51:00.000+08:00

Spent my weekends with my girlfriends from dragon boat one. Supported Weilin @ muchuan. Cool! Finally we all met up..full house. Had a great time chatting with them, catching up. Girls' talk on lingerie..haha. Didn't know it was such an exciting and hiliarious topic. haha.

Yup finally get to meet up with my friend's partner. She seems happier now. I guess the line between gender has blurred. We are free to like anyone. Is common sight for lesbians or gays. Just a matter of their choice to lead the kind of lifestyle they want. Well, the society shapes what should be the right way to go. It is now not necessarily that we have to like opposite sex. a preference of choice. Just be sure that is a conscious choice and no regrets!

Got myself up early sunday morning to have cartel breakfast with dino and weilin. Was reminded our past..where we studied there for our A'levels. And weilin carried her 'luggage' of files there. Stress studying with her..haha. Bygone. I see that she's more relax and happy now. Much better than the past. I'm glad she follows her passion in singing/songwriting with ntu club. I'm proud of her whenever she gets to perform on stage...we came as package back in jc days where we joined our sch talentine. She composed her own songs..COol! Good to know that she's doing well. :)

Somehow i realised that my friendship with them has became closer and stronger, probably cos we used to train real hard together. I feel that better friendships are forged when you go thru tough times together..which is so hard to find nowadays.

I'm also learning to be more sensitive towards my good friends.. just spend a little effort that's becos i care.